Well, my mom admits to me today that she thinks I might be PTSD. She was reading aloud from a book while we were in the car late this morning. She read the second section “PTSD-A Normal Reaction to an Abnormal Amount of Stress.” I laughed lightly at that.
She started to read about the four types of disassociation. The first was where sense and emotions disconnect. I was vaguely disturbed hearing what she read. She moved onto the second, which was depersonalization or derealization.

“Here you feel like a robot or thing.”
“It is not uncommon for survivors to bite, hit, or try to injure themselves physically so they can feel ‘real’ or ‘alive’.”

I was a bit surprised to hear the robot bit. Mom went on about how once I even said I felt like one once. I vaguely recall. It was something along the lines of being mechanical. In any case, after she read the rest I smirked and jokingly asked, “So, does that mean I suffer from PTSD?”
My mom apparently thinks so.

Later on, probably even around twelve hours from that last conversation, I was doing my chores and ask her, “Do you think you are knowledgeable on PTSD? As in, how well you know about it?”
She replied yes, which I eventually understood to mean she knew the topic very well. So, I reaffirmed as to whether she really did think I was PTSD. She does.
I eventually ask, “So all in all… What do you think I really am in cases of mental stability?”
She asked me something… I cannot really recall, but in any case I didn’t understand what she was asking and thus told her to go with that. She did. It apparently was what I was looking for. I asked her what she thought of the bi-polar thing. She agrees with it. There was a bit of talk. I asked her if the type I had would ever go away since what brought mine on was stress. She said no. She used the example of my anxiety and the like. I used the analogy of my wrist.
I ask about the Aspergers. She said she really wasn’t sure on that… perhaps she didn’t really think it was right. She spoke about my inability to relate to people, but saying it could be PTSD. She then spoke about the communication problems and that was the only factor that really seemed to keep it in the list of possibilities.
If I do have PTSD, my mom believes it was likely all due to my sister. I somewhat smirked at that. Perhaps… but I think there was more to it than just my sister. I kept quiet though.
All in all, it rather surprises me. I know some about PTSD, but I never would have considered myself as such. Perhaps it is how the disorder was presented to me through media… then again those presented were likely to great extremes. Oh, well.
I really don’t know what I think of this. I suppose it is a possibility, but… with how my life has been up to now… I suppose it would be as though I were making a mockery to those who have it.
I mean, really. When you hear about PTSD it is usually associated with people in war, survivors of terrible physical abuse, people who underwent natural disasters… Then there is me, who ends up having PTSD just due to my sister? Truthfully, if I do have it… I find it a bit pathetic on my account. Why? I suppose I could go back and say, “When younger I made a great deal about being strong and show no weaknesses.” While I am not so intense about that now, I do think the scenario is a bit sad.
So what is my opinion? Possibility, but I never saw it coming.