Cleaning, Projects, and Movies…

Friday was just another day really. Nothing to be said, I guess.
Saturday, however was a busy day. I woke around eight. My parents and I were going to stop by the house my E. brother and sister resided in for a good long while. E. brother moved out, as noted somewhere earlier. My sister moved out before him into an apartment. Now it is alone and in dire need of fixing. Yes, my E. brother is an utter slob and my sister is as well. My sister does have better hygiene though and is not gross like him.
Well, the stop was mainly to look the house over, check the security system on the house and the smoke alarms. Terrible stuff has happened that needs fixing. Basically, it was to see the damage.
We got there around eleven thirty, I think. Another thing to add to the list of neglect or abuse to the house was the A/C not working. It worked on batteries and those died. We needed to get things like light bulbs and such, so we left the house and went to the Home depot. ‘Got the things needed and we headed back. We were supposed to get the heater going once the batteries were placed in, so we called my sister to meet us at a restaurant for lunch. It was not so simple.
The A/C still had problems after the batteries were replaced. So, for a good long while my dad worked on trying to get it to come on and then when it came on it was only the fan. The home phone did not work for reasons unknown to me so there were issues when we called maintenance. We relied on my mom’s cell phone.
My sister was called and informed of the issues we were having, and thus stopped by at the house. I piddled and replaced light bulbs or used a broom to clean off cobwebs around the ceiling.
My dad had us go on to lunch without him. We would bring him something back. So, Mom, Sis and I got into the car and headed for lunch. I wasn’t feeling to well, so the food was not as satisfying as it usually would have been to me. There was discussion to go to Target to get some pillows and something else for the bedroom. We left eventually, dropped Dad’s food by the house and Mom talked to the neighbor.
My sister and I waited for her in the car. Sis has some studying going on, so I helped her out as we waited. It was mainly vocabulary. She apparently did not know any of it. I was surprised since I knew an okay amount. Not all of them, mind you… but I knew more than she did. It was interesting to say the least. My mom finally came out who knows how long later and we heeded for Ross rather than Target. Mom got pillows and that other thing. My sister got herself some pillows as well. We finally left for the house.
Upon return, my dad has disassembled the desk that had been my elder brother’s and he had the A/C working. Mom and I got to work. She worked on her bedroom. My sister left for work, I believe. Dad and I checked the fridge and together threw everything in it out. After all, my E. Brother was supposed to have emptied it when he left the place back in November. Oi. Once it was empty, I did my best to clean the stains and hardened liquids in it. Once that was accomplished I worked on the dishes in the kitchen.
When I did as much as I could, I piddled some. By then it was around four, I think. We all had done what we could for the day and soon enough we left for home. I cannot really remember the rest of the night. I think we all just sort of collapsed into chairs and eased out minds with TV. I think I went to bed early that night.
Sunday, my dad and I went to the grocery store after he returned from church with Mom. We got what was needed and returned. After putting everything up and a pause for a breather, he and I left for Wal-Mart to get some bird seed a water filter, printer ink and too look at some hard drives. They did not have much of a selection on the latter.
After we got home, my brother and Dad helped me get my old desk out of the room and reassemble my E. brother’s old desk. Pretty much they did all the work though. I just helped where I could. When assembled, my brother worked on plugging everything back in. Once settled, the computer was turned on again. My screen was blank. It is a normalcy. Due to that, we could not find out if I got the Internet. My dad’s computer got it, but my brother’s did not.
They left me be then and I worked on putting everything right. The cords were all tangled, so I planned on getting them reassembled neatly after I got everything else in order on my desk. It was a while before that happened and by then I was pretty tired, so I decided to put the cord rearranging off until I got a nap in.
My computer screen still had not worked by then, so my brother got fed up and tried to check out the problem by replacing it with others to see if it was the vide cartridge or the monitor. It was determined it was the monitor. So, while he and my dad worked on trying out things, I piddled off. I was too out of it by then. I took a nap in my parents’ bedroom.
I do not remember when I woke up again, but by then my mom wanted to watch TV, so we did. Somewhere in between my dad had cooked dinner. I think we finished the movie around eight. Anyway, by the end of it, I was rejuvenated again. My brother gave me his old computer screen. It had sort of died on him a while back, so he’s been using a different one. It works fine for me so far, though. Since all was settled, I headed for my room to work on putting the cords in order.
When my parents went to bed, I was still working in my room and later was on the computer pretty much all night. Come Monday, I was still up. Sometimes around three or four I started watching “To Kill a Mockingbird”. It was a good movie. Somewhere in between I stopped though since my parents had woken up. I took my medication and all that fun stuff. When the movie was over, I was satisfied with it. I left the room and talked to my mom about it and asked how true to the book it was. It was of course condensed, but she said it remained pretty true. I decided to look around for the book. I knew we had a copy in the house. I found it soon enough and told her I’d likely read it if I ever got in the mood.
I finally went to bed around seven after cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. I pretty much slept all day. I woke around three in the afternoon, did some stuff and ended up hitting the bed again around four. I finally got up around six thirty. Mom wanted to watch TV together. Nothing was really on though, so she and I watched a Canadian mystery/cop show together. We watched something dealing with weather disasters. I was still tired, however and so retreated to my room when it was over and hit the bed once more. My mom came in a few times asking me things, but I don’t really remember.
I finally woke up again around twelve. I took a shower, cleaned the dishes in the kitchen and checked the laundry. After that I checked the computer.
I watched “Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door” Tuesday in the ungodly hours. I started around one. I had been reading about it for a couple of days before deciding to watch it. The reviews caused me to expect the worst. I expected my stomach to turn or for my mind to have the inability to stop thinking about it. I expected it to be the sort of movie I’d be dwelling on for a while.
Instead… it is over. I remember readying myself for something horrible. I read up on the true event it was based on. I questioned if I should watch at night or day. I guess I am just too detached or merely too used to such things. Perhaps I am numb? Maybe I am sadistic? I do not know.
All I really remember was focus, occasional anticipation, dimmed disgust and thinking “I’ve written of such implications as well.” Perhaps I am a sick bastard?
Now the movie is over and I just wonder, why am I not affected more? I also wonder… am I reacting to it similar to the time I saw “Hostel”? I know I am not really, in observation. Hostel was just… “Oh, okay. That reminds me of the Spanish Inquisition.” This movie… just makes me think…”I’ve read of this stuff before… hell, I’ve written fiction of this stuff.”
I guess what I wonder most is… why? I wonder how human I really am at times when it comes down to human emotion. I suppose if I were really there… I’d react. I’d likely be cringing, looking away and trying to block it all out. I know I get easily frightened if my dad ever gets in one of his sour moods, and those are merely cursing at inanimate objects and slamming things.
I guess it was due to third person view. It is merely something I watched. Experience can be everything in regards to a human. Then there are those sensitive enough where just watching or reading something can affect them almost as much as experience can.
One really has to wonder though… human nature. People would probably say being sadistic is not a human nature. I don’t know though. You never see any other living creature be sadistic. It seems to be exclusively something that can occur in humans.
The mind is a frightening thing.
Anyway, the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday was pretty much normal.
Nothing else comes to mind.

Hope or Something Like It…

I guess I just have nothing to write about. Everyone seems to be doing fine. My cat is still here to my relief. Our house is sturdy. We can eat. We can drink. We can buy other such necessities.
I know nothing to little on my sister and E. brother, but I take that to mean no news is good news. Other brother has risen to a higher position at his job, if I am not mistaken. Dad is his usual self. Mom has been losing weight and is positive over the process.
I am just me. My hand has been weakening at a rather quick rate as of late. I doubt it is early arthritis, though. I think I just strained my muscles there almost as bad as say tendonitis. Due to that, drawing is a no go. At times my hand hurts just from regular usage that deals with doing house chores and wielding eating utensils. It is pretty annoying, really.
Oh well.
I’m more for reading and watching movies at the moment. It has been quite a while since I’ve had a strange project come to mind. An urge, those are. Like web sites or mere need to research on something deeply. No worries though. Thinking on it, those don’t tend to come often. I just notice now since my life is not hectic anymore.
Other than a more stable disposition and what not… due to this odd, satisfying lifestyle, I seem to think more often on gratefulness. Once in a while at night as I’m in bed, I seem to do something similar to praying. Perhaps it even is praying.
I believe in change if anything. It is inevitable in this world and for creatures such as us as far as I am concerned. While I usually just give “hopes” that people who have affected my life in good ways are doing well and are happy at the end, I usually hope that the life I have now lasts.
I consider myself lucky. Looking at how different lives are in my limited abilities… I think I am damn fortunate. I’m glad I was adopted. I’m glad I was fortunate to have my parents. I am happy they chose to take me in. I’m in a good home. On average I have good siblings. We have comfortable shelter. We have clothes, nourishment and things that are not even necessary to survive.
My past self would likely not have noticed all these things. Every once in a while perhaps I did, but not in the same way as I see them now. So much bad clouded things. It is always easier to focus on the harsher feelings over the good. It is always easier to let the negative out weigh the positive.
I hope I do not go back so far again.
Well, there is my “nothing” – nothing having an odd connection to “rambling thoughts that go off into oblivion and beyond”.

“Good Spouse”…

Now this… the following is just a semi-humor, semi-serious little ditty. On a board I go to there was a link to a site called “”. I checked it out and found an “article” that used an article from the mid 1900s. yeah… times were once like that. the rest of the site was all about how men shouldn’t marry… at least not American women. There is a point the site does note that I must agree is true. Men and women are not equal in America.

Anyway, for lark, I wrote my version. Then later on, I wrote a mock version of an independent American woman’s ideal man.  So first off is old times, modern times and last is of my own views.


The Good Wife’s Guide
From “Housekeeping Monthly”, May 13, 1955.

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about is needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
  • Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  • Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.


The Good Husband’s Guide
From “Independent American Women”, September 21 XXXX.

  • He has dinner ready. He planned ahead and made sure to make my favorite dishes as well as is attentive to my diet plans even though he assures me that I don’t need to diet.
  • He treats me like royalty. He is polite, affectionate, sympathetic, only a listener, entertaining, romantic, sensitive, a flatterer, patient, understanding, loyal… (List continues.)
  • Cares about my day once he gets or I get home. He needs to pay attention to what I have to say and truly be interested.
  • He must keep up after his clothes, dishes, etc. and not get onto me when I do such.
  • If I want the place to be cleaned up, he will happily oblige because I am not a maid.
  • He should consider me the center of his world and work hard to make sure I am comfortable because he knows he must show me his love. If not, he is emotionally neglecting me.
  • Will be a good father and take care of our children. He must understand I am busy too.
  • He must be happy to see me.
  • Wants me for me and does not require sex.
  • Listen to me. I have a dozen important things to tell him and my thoughts are more important than his… and he better not argue or complain or I’m filing for divorce.
  • The evening is mine. He should always be home on time or take me with him. If I don’t want to go, he must stay with me. If he does not, I will complain and accuse him of having an affair or not wanting to be with me.
  • His goal: Try to make sure the home a place of peace, order and tranquility where I can renew myself in body and spirit. That, or give me money, shower me with compliments or/and gives me gifts…
  • He doesn’t greet me with complaints and problems. He knows I’ll scream right back.
  • He understands that if he doesn’t do things my way, he won’t just deal with only getting sex when I feel like it… he’ll get no sex.
  • He caters to me. He makes me comfortable, gives me spontaneous massages, makes me laugh, and tells me sweet nothings… (List continues.)
  • Runs me bubble baths with scented candles with my favorite scent and gives me a foot massage after a long hard day to make me feel better.
  • He doesn’t argue with me. He has no right to question or get onto me.
  • A good husband is whipped and treats his wife like a goddess.


The Good Spouse’s Guide
From “Nyxity’s Head”, January 5, 2008.

  • Have dinner planned. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a meal ready, on time for the both of you. If one of you feels that cooking once you arrive home is possible, do so. If not, discuss on where you should order out or prepare from a frozen dinner. Agree.
  • You both have just been with a lot of work-weary people. Once you are both home, don’t bother each other for 15 minutes. Just rest in the same room together, get your second wind and enjoy the silence. If necessary freshen up with a nice cold towel on your aching brows.
  • Once rested, be pleasant. If not possible, give warning.
  • If the house is not spotless, both should do their share. Just clear away the clutter.
  • Make sure the floors are safe for each other. Kids are hazards and you both are stuck with them. Look out for each other.
  • Over the cooler months of the year, whoever gets home first should adjust the temperature to both your likings. While your spouse may not notice, it will help relax both of you, so there is a plus.
  • Prepare the children together. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They need attention even if you are tired. Both of you should try to encourage the children to be quiet without yelling. Just shut them in their rooms if they disobey and place on some headphones with the right music.
  • Be happy to see your significant other. Remember, you both have likely had terrible days. You need at least to support each other.
  • Greet each other with a warm (if not tired) smile and remember that his/her day was likely hell too.
  • Listen to each other. Let the other tell about his or her day and be sympathetic. You may have a dozen important things to tell, but be courteous to him/her as well.
  • Make the evening equal. Never complain if he/she comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Just make sure he/she calls. Be sure to do the same courtesy if you are on the other side of the situation.
  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your significant other can renew him/herself in body and spirit. In turn, you will also be making the home perfect for you as well.
  • Don’t greet him/her with complaints and problems.
  • Don’t complain if he/she’s late home for dinner or even if he/she stays out all night. Just ask for a simple explanation.
  • Make each other comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have her lie down in the bedroom when he/she has apparently worse day then you. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him/her.
  • Be considerate to his/her likes and needs. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don’t ask him/her questions about his/her actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, you both are equal and should always exercise your will with fairness and truthfulness. You are trying to get through this life together.
  • A good spouse deserves and equally good partner.

Hello, New Years…

I never did see my siblings off since I slept most of the twenty sixth in response to all of the hubbub that went on during their stay. The rest of the week was spent on recuperating my body. On the 28th I saw Wynne. The meeting went as usual. She thinks I should see a neurologist though. Peh. I paid the fee for her and my mom and I left. We ate at Acapulco that night for dinner. Saturday was a blur. All I really remember was going out to get groceries and then lying down due to a headache.
Sunday my parents and I left home around ten forty-five to take a trip to see my great aunt. Around twelve thirty or so we picked up my sister and we arrived to our destination around one thirty. My mother’s… second (? … My mom so owes me a family tree still) cousin was there already. All of us sat around the living room, talked and such. My mother’s other cousin came around sometime later to check and do “man’s work” for my great aunt. Eventually, all of us settled in the dining area and snacked on cherry cheesecake. There was more talk and by four we left for home. We dropped my sister off and did not get home until around seven fifteen. I did some chores like laundry and dishes and eventually collapsed onto my bed around eight.
Monday was a rest day. I slept through almost all of it. Some of the reason was due to having headaches – I still wonder if my mom had given me my meds this morning. The other reason was likely just being tired from yesterday. Around noon or so I woke, did chores and such. Near one I finished vacuuming my parents’ room and my dad came home. He and I went out to do some errands. After eating lunch and a few other things I collapsed again and slept until four thirty. I ate dinner and read a bit since I’ve been getting in some books from orders I placed on a gift card from Christmas.
My parents were gone by then. They were at church. Coming home somewhere in the hours of six, it was determined that my mother did not give me my medication that morning. Once that was gotten, I headed to my room to go to sleep again. My head still was out of commission and my body felt like it was in water.
I woke around nine twenty. My parents were asleep. I snacked on cereal and worked on the computer shortly before taking a shower. I felt like my usual self again, much to my relief. My head did not hurt, I felt like I could actually focus on something and I didn’t feel tired-like. Yeay.
Shred popped up for a short time when I was ¼ in a book. He showed me some silly comedic video on YouTube. We chatted briefly and soon he silenced. I read a bit more, put the book down and worked a bit on a detailed drawing I started earlier in December. Since my hand is not too great for drawing long periods anymore, I take many breaks and draw only a little when I do. Still, it is turning out nicely thus far.
Anyway, my dad will be here all New Years day. My mom will likely be working as usual. We have the black-eyed peas and that is the most we seem to do for tradition. My mom’s resolution is to lose weight as usual. My sister surprised me in that her resolution being the same. I mean, dang, she looks just fine. Oh, well.
I don’t know anyone else’s really. Me? Nothing. Why? I am not really the ambitious, goal oriented type. I just want my life to go on as it has been. I seem to be in good health, I’m happy, and hope nothing changes drastically. After all, I don’t believe in forever. I believe in change.