Crazy Makers…

Hmm. It seems I am taking something of a sabbatical from most “on hand” Internet activities. I often think to write things down for entries, uploading things to the site and such… but I just am not interested enough. I require an internal fuel and concentration for such things. Oh, well.
Um… Oh, right. The real thing I wanted to write down was simply that a conclusion has been made just recently… perhaps a few minutes ago. Back when I had my mental crash, I thought I just stopped having the ability to gather information and retain it. While some of that is true… there was more.
I used to have racing thoughts every night back in my adolescence. I considered myself philosophical due to some of the thoughts and ideas I developed. I was having one of those semi-manic thinking moments tonight and voiced it aloud to my mother. I cannot recollect clearly as to what she called it despite I asked her to repeat what she had said… but I think she said that such way of thinking is what her people call “Crazy Makers”.
I had paused at that and thought, “Huh… so all those times I thought I was being philosophic were really times I was going mad?”
Ah… how interesting…


Oh, yeah… the following consists of some tests and some clipped notes written down on 03/24/08:

What Is Your Inner Desire?
You have no inner desire. You are completely content with life and are very care free. You are very optimistic about almost everything. This is a good attitude to have, its always good to love life and take it as it comes and enjoy the good times instead of dwelling on the bad.
How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

Yeah. Ambition is tiring. Heh.


Are you a REAL man?
You Are A Real Man
You Are A Real Man
The perfect combination of being tough and being sensitive, you know how to stand up for yourself and the ones you love, but you don’t go out looking for a fight to prove you’re a man. You know who you are, and you have a lot to offer because of that. You attract the real ladies.
How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic



What is your spirit animal?
Rabbit Spirit
Rabbit Spirit
Your spirit animal is the rabbit.
Aloof, distrustful yet sweet and caring, when treated well.
A rabbit spirit is a cautious one, more paranoid than most. One that is warm at heart, but cold outside. They need not be afraid of all things in the world. Only the wolf spirit.
How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

It suits. Shame. I like tigers over rabbits.

Um… My second cousin got married. I had a physical. A week later I had tests done after fasting for about 18 hours. My brother stayed for a week. My cat is doing fine. My wrist/hand is still a bitch at times. Tests came back by Monday, but my mom still has yet to call back to hear what the results are. Yeah, I should likely be the one calling… but phones are evil and listening to people leads to me hearing noises and not understanding a word he or she is saying. Joy.

Can I Recall…?

The two nights my mother and I tried to give my cat his IV treatments were successful, but he was terrified of us. We are amateurs so we often poked places other than his skin and sometimes the needle went through the skin… sort of like when stitching; went in and the end went out. Poor bugger…
We decided we weren’t cut out for the job and took him back to the vets the rest of the week. He was just fine when we took him in though, so we figured he knew my mom and I sucked at it. I didn’t expect to be decent at it in the first place. After all, I never was taught it first hand, I merely watched and remembered how to do everything. My mom forgot and I had to show her. Oi.
After that last vet visit, the doc says my cat is doing okay and could go down a bit on the fluids. So, we will be taking him in on Tuesdays and Fridays instead of every other week day. That’ll help on my pocket book and my cat won’t have to go so often. Yay.
Other than that… the rest of the past two weeks is a blur. A good amount of the time I was having a lot of fog spells or headaches. My sleeping patterns are in the “more insane than usual” category, I suppose. I have been sleeping at most three hours at a time. Meh.
My wrist is still healing too. Bugger. Yeah. I haven’t really drawn anything for two and a half to three months now. It was just this weekend did I start taking my brace off to try to strengthen my wrist again. Friday I tried keeping it off and only use it when doing something that wasn’t in the “light usage” category. That didn’t do right. Suddenly around evening pain was shooting up my arm. Bleh. Therefore I let it rest. If Saturday the pain was still there, I’d give it another day to rest.
Turned out I could take it off. I probably had it off for a couple of hours, but that was mainly due to my polishing some silver. Sunday it was off for an hour and a half. Today, I managed to keep it off for two hours. Tomorrow, I’ll try for three.
Other news… Denise contacted me once. I sometimes see myself as her therapist. She’ll pop up out of the blue, talk about how she was a bad friend to me when we were little and then she goes on about what is wrong in life. Yeah… Therapist. After that she disappears, but not before saying she’ll see me around maybe the next night. No bother.
In family matters, my eldest brother is coming back down here. Chicago isn’t working out for him or his girlfriend. Therefore, he intends to fall back on my parents and use the house my mom inherited from my grandmother and likely mess the place up again despite what little (and yet so much) progress we’ve been making on cleaning it up the few times we are able to go there. Oi!
For double groaning, he also is screwing my parents over again. That thing about the alarm systems in that house – did I even write about that in earlier entries? Anyway, that is still screwing them over as well as our neighbor. My dad is such an enabler, too. He has admitted to giving money here and there to E. Bro’. Enabler!
What makes it nuts though is that my parents have debts and such and my father speaks of regrets or such that he shouldn’t have retired. My mom argues he gets about the same amount now retired (he still works though) through his job, social security and something else. What is more nuts is that sometimes they ask me for money to help pay a bill or such. I’d be insulted that he feels he should give my E. brother money and yet still borrow money from me, but I know how he is.
Oh, but Dad isn’t squeaky clean either. He still bitches and complains. Talks about how he is miserable and deals with aches and pains. He doesn’t do anything about it. If I say he’s weird about anything, it is that – and it isn’t a good weird. My mom is the one who is the most peeved about it, of course.
He talks about how he doesn’t think he’ll live long as well. When ever he gets at her nerves, she often talks about how she thinks it is selfish of him to think such a thing wouldn’t affect us and that he won’t give in and go to a doctor. As said, he’s weird in a bad way.
I commented to him recently I’d almost call him a masochist, except I am not sure if he takes any pleasure in all the pains he complains but does nothing about. Oi. My mom told me this morning she thought I was right to comment on that. Go figure.
In other family events, my… second (?) cousin is having a wedding soon. It will be somewhere in the middle of this month, I think. Of course, I have no intentions to go, but my mom is. Good luck to her marriage.
Um… I guess I’ll just list appointments for a better chance of remembering them.
A week from now I’ll go into see the family doctor for physicals at 1:30. There are other things, but my mom hasn’t written them on the calendar. Next month it is a dentist, eye or something of such nature likely.

To the title… I guess the answer is yes. Blah.