Relationships are utterly depressing. Thank god, I have few and I can keep those kind from being depressing for the most part. Then again, the farthest I will go is friendship. Something more than that would likely give me a breakdown that I would not be able to talk myself out of as soon as possible.
It is funny though, today I happened to look through every link I had. I went on to others that were linked to the places I would visit. I suppose it is that funny connection theory acting up again. Either way, I learned many things going on. I also learned that no matter how much you think you know someone, you will be mistaken.
It does not bother me really. I do not think much does nowadays. It is nice. Still though, as I took a bath this afternoon, as I was not feeling well, I mused upon it. You have to wonder what is really the truth these daysâ€¦ or perhaps just when it comes to people. There were things I thought I knew, but just this beginning year, I learn they were all lies.
Change happens though. A while ago, I likely would have been utterly hurt and in pain over it. I would feel misled and so forth. Then again, a year ago, it might have been the truth and time merely changed things. Maybe it was just a joke and I took it seriously, as I have always been serious.
Well, anyway, I found that out today. Sure, I knew about it, butâ€¦ this case just was so lucid and tangible. Ah, lifeâ€¦
Another odd tidbit is the following: after all these years I have found I am allergic to grass. Yes, grass. It is not anything serious, but if I am on it, I will start itching like mad. I do not mind though. I do not go outside much anyway, and when I am, I am on concrete. Moreover, it gets me out of learning how to mow the lawn. That is definitely a plus.
An other odd thing is that this beginning week I have been unable to eat without becoming nauseated. I figure it is some sort of bug. At first, I figured my stomach was empty and was in dire need of food, since that is usually the case. Nope, this time it really was sickness and not hunger. I am eating, but I always end up feeling like hurling after. Lovely.
My father will be here tomorrow afternoon. That should be cool. Apparently, my sister will not be coming. She will come some other point when the house is less filled. That is fine with me. It makes sleeping arrangements less complicated.
Speaking of sleeping, I am now in the phase of needing more than just nine to thirteen hours. The phase before this was breaking out. Soon enough, I shall be bedridden or something along the lines of that. I do not think I have to worry about depression though. I have been doing quite well in that area. It is wonderful.
I suppose that is all.
~ The Vampire Sheep