"Goals"… Ha! Funny…

Well, my mom is back from her trip to check on my brother. Simply put, she was very exhausted when she came back. She told me how it would have been a huge help if I had been there. I am sure I would have… but I avoid that place almost like the plague now. Anyway, as said, she came back, which was on Sunday night. I did my first “goal” – ha! Yeah, it will seem utterly easy and silly to most, but after doing it, I felt sick. What did I do? I called Domino’s and ordered a pizza. Heh.

Yes, I have never ordered a pizza before, much less anything else. I think I had numbed myself during the process. I also became a bit paranoid when I heard laughing in the background. The reason was due to questioning if the phone was a speaker one and people were laughing at me. Yes, I am that pathetic. Heh. Still… I did it! My mom also came in after to have me write the check. I had tried to once before, but my sister was guiding me on it… I messed up millions of times. This time around I did it relatively with ease. Relatively because I have not the best memory on exactly how it went in regards to writing out the numbers.

Sunday night and Monday morning was spent talking with CP. I wrote a short story for no reason in particular, and I believe it sucks. I took the time though, and quite a bit of thought so… I am keeping it. CP helped me think of a title for it. She is a doll. Love her – and her cat… I lub her cat… Hu! Along with that I drew some, nothing that I would put in the collection of my more “serious” pieces – Serious! Ha! – Nevertheless, they are enough for me to keep. I showed her some and after she left to go to bed, I drew two more later.

The rest of the day was uneventful… but! When it hit around two in the morning, tonight I found the ink cartridges I told my mother that was needed. I noticed a warning on her computer about how low the ink supply was. I never replaced such things before, but I did that night and I felt giddy. Yes, I feel giddy over the simplest things.

Huh… perhaps I am more like my fictional characters than I thought. Hu! It did come to my attention though… I always have preferred to do things without others watching. That silly psychological resulted in the woman saying something along the lines of not getting the sort of socializing that is secretly yearned for or something. Also, there was something like me being restricting myself and being vigorous about trying to do everything right in order to not be criticized or the like. I do not know. I would require that silly piece of paper to be able to remember it better, or to simply put down more clarified words and ideas about it. Well… I suppose the latter could be correct, but I mainly did such things because I preferred doing them in such a way. I liked learning things on my own. I think I always have. I mean, where is the giddiness in repeating what someone tells you to do? It feels more accomplishing when you do it yourself, I think.

Now, that does not mean I will not ask for help when I am utterly clueless. No, sir… I required my brother to be there when ordering the pizza. One, I did not remember our phone number’s first three numbers; second, he told me something that occurred in the process of ordering that I would not have been prepared for. I did it fine enough on my own from there, other than asking for his help on the phone number. What was a good thing was that he was there when I repeated the price of the order. I forgot it the moment I turned the phone off. Yes, I am that bad with numbers. Heh.

Oh yeah, I made up to around seventy-six animated gifs. That is mad… utterly mad! Oh, well… I’m a cucke! Wha-ha!

Well, I think that is all I am really going to type out tonight. Ah, how I write about the most uninteresting things. Oh well. Um, also my dad should be coming down this Friday and will not be leaving until Wednesday. Go, Dad! Then a week after, on Friday I will be seeing Mrs. Wynn.


Maxwell Lennox

You’re Maxwell Lennox, the strong, silent type.
…well, silent, anyway. You were brought up

with hardcore good manners (think military
school), but you have this issue with rage
every once in a while. Hey, nobody’s perfect.
You also, for some odd reason, have been
wearing a gas mask your entire life and
haven’t the foggiest idea of what you look
like. Weirdo.

The General’s Son
brought to you by Quizilla

I swear… that character is “sexy”. I’m adding him to THE LIST.
Other than that, my mom left just now. She’ll be back Sunday. She’s thinking on enrolling me into a karate class. O.o…
Oh, and last night I opened the inside of my dad’s old computer tower. I’ll likely be using it soon, since I do tend to use all pass downs, and so I cleaned the inside of it. The dust was so bad it stained my carpet… especially when the dirt mixed with the damp cloth and the mixture dripped. Oh well. Hopefully I did not ruin anything.
I have a new CD as well, and drew two simple pictures last night or early this morning whatever the case. I had trouble sleeping last night either way, and woke up around noon despite constantly waking up every such hour. My mother, brother and I went out to eat. The place was not of my mother’s nor my fancy, but we did it to please my brother.
He spoke of possibly moving back up north, thus leaving my mother and I. I do not mind terribly, I guess. I just wonder what I will do if a problem arises like a machinery breaks down or the like. Oh well. He’s 23, so he can do as he wishes, and pretty much he wishes to leave.
After that my mother and I went to the grocery store. It was interesting since we need not get anything for my brother and my mom hardly ate any of her frozen dinners, so we spent perhaps slightly less than half the amount than usual. I was quite delighted, one might say.
Anyway, here I am typing away after putting up things, finding out what sort of ink cartriges my mother needs to get while gone and a few other things. I still feel tired. I believe I will go lay down.

Psychologist… Psychologist… Whoo…

I saw the psychologist today. We – my mom, her and I – went over the scoring and her assessment on all of that lovely stuff. I rather lacked in paying deep attention. For the most part I believe the talking went in one ear and out the other. No aspergers the lady thinks. My mother still questions. There were things my mother and I disagreed with on some of her thoughts.
There was a screening on my intellectual abilities. My IQ is relatively the same as the last time. The thing says “functions in the Superior Range of measured intelligence” … “this places (my) cognitive functioning at or above aproximately 96% of (those who are my) peers” … “(my) verbal skills appear slightly better developed than (my) nonverbal reasoning skills” and it “falls in the Superior Range” … “Performance IQ (gives the score) falls in the Upper High Average Range” …
There was scoring for the verbal and performance subtests and I apparently did very well.
There was more on what my diagnosis was. Again my mother and I agreed with her over some things and yet did not on others. When all of that was done we went off to do errands. She stopped by a grease world food place to get me a drink since I have been deprived of one for hours as well as some fries since I was hungry. I went over the sheet the psychologist gave us and made a few notes on things that seemed absurd to be placed next to me. In the end we returned home around five or something like that.
I could write more I suppose, but I am not really in the mood, so this shall end in some notes.

My sister visited us during the weekend.
My brother came back from his week long vacation on Sunday night.
Thursday Mom will leave to check on my eldest brother and the cats and will return Sunday.
Dad will come down the following Friday.
The Friday after that one, I will see Mrs. Wynn.
If there is more to be known, I am not aware.

Uh… *Brain dead*…

Um… After I hit the bed Saturday morning, my sister came to stay the weekend. She arrived around two, therefore I was still out like a burnt lightbulb. Around four to six, I cannot recollect, we went out to eat at Jefferson Street Cafe… At least, the name is something like that. My memory becomes all the more terrible over time I have concluded.
My sister left on Sunday night after we ate out at a Mexican restaurant. The rest of the week went on as normal as usual. My brother did leave to go on vacation though on… I think Friday, so I did not have to really enter his room during the week other than after my sister left. I swear, she was only here for about one day in all and the laundry was already backed up. I also undid the bedding to my brother’s bed and washed that because my brother is picky like that… so says my mom.
Other than that, the week has been a blur. I’ve been missing the few people I come into contact with left and right. It seems I am asleep when they are awake. Yeah, that includes my mother even. Oops.
I’ve been reading up on an RP I did back in 2004. Man… talk about memories. Also, I have been editing it some again. I am such a bloody perfectionist. Oh well.
My brother should be back this Sunday. On Tuesday I get to see the psychologist again, if I am not mistaken.
Sigh… That is all I am writing. My eyes burn.

Note and Survey…

Friday, have an appointment with Wynn… I just now forgot the time… 2:30 likely though.


What is your name?: Nyxity

Are you named after anyone?: Not really.

What’s your screen name?: Nyxity

Would you name a child of yours after you?: No,sir.

If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Probably Kyle…

Are there any mispronunciations/typos that people inflict on your name constantly?: Constantly, no.

Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: I will not become famous.

Straight/Gay/Bi: Platonic.

Single?: That is a hard question.

If not, do you want to be?: Does not matter.

Birthdate: I do not know the date my parents were together to make me be born.

Your age: 19

Age you act: That is difficult as well.

Age you wish you were: I would have to know what all ages are like to decide that.

Your height: I’m getting used to it.

Eye color: Brown.

Happy with it?: Most of the time.

Hair color (natural): Black.

Happy with it?: Mostly. I’d like it completely jet black.

Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: Southpaw.

Your living arrangement: Uh…

Your family: Immediate, there are five other human members and six other pet members.

Have any pets?: Yes.

What’s your job?: Looking after the house.

Piercings?: Ears.

Tattoos?: I want one.

Obsessions?: Eh…

Addictions?: Internet.

Do you speak another language?: No.

Have a favorite quote?: Yes.

Do you have a webpage?: You could say that.

Do you live in the moment?: I would not know.

Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Likely… not.

Do you have any secrets?: I think everyone does.

Do you hate yourself?: Not anymore.

Do you like your handwriting?: Not really. Handwriting is awkward.

Do you have any bad habits?: Trichotillomania and likely others.

What is the compliment you get from most people?: Uh…

If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Monosyllibic.

What’s your biggest fear?: Eh…

Can you sing?: I used to be able to decently.

Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: That is funny.

Are you a loner?: Yep.

What are your top priorities in life?: I lack ambition.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: I have no idea.

Are you a daredevil?: Nope.

Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Not really.

Are you passive or agressive?: I guess passive.

Do you have a journal?: Yep.

What is your greatest strength and weakness?: That is difficult.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I’d be more screwed up in the head.

Do you think you are emotionally strong?: I suppose so nowadays.

Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: At the moment, I think of nothing.

Do you think life has been good so far?: Good is a funny word.

What do you like the most about your body?: Eh… my hands I guess. I like hands.

And least?: *Smiles*

Do you think you are good looking?: Nope.

Are you confident?: Nope.

What is the fictional character you are most like: I do not think I am particularily like any.

Are you perceived wrongly?: Yeah.

Smoke?: Nope.

Do drugs?: Sort of.

Read the newspaper?: No.

Pray?: Not really.

Go to church?: That sort of place makes me nervous.

Talk to strangers who IM you?: No.

Take walks in the rain?: Sometimes, when I need it.

Talk to people even though you hate them?: I doubt I would.

Drive?: Mope.

Would or Have You Ever?: Huh?

Liked your voice?: I’d like it a bit deeper.

Hurt yourself?: Yep.

Been out of the country?: Not really.

Eaten something that made other people sick?: Not that I know of.

Been in love?: I suppose so.

Done drugs?: Sort of.

Gone skinny dipping?: No thanks.

Had a medical emergency?: Yep.

Had surgery?: I think I did.

Ran away from home?: No.

Played strip poker?: Ew.

Gotten beaten up?: Not really…

Beaten someone up?: Doubt it.

Been picked on?: Yes, sir.

Been on stage?: Sort of.

Slept outdoors?: Yeah.

Thought about suicide?: Recently, no.

Pulled an all nighter?: Yesh.

If yes, what is your record?: I do not keep track.

Gone one day without food?: Yeah.

Talked on the phone all night?: If so, I was really young.

Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: No.

Slept all day?: Two days straight.

Killed someone?: No.

Made out with a stranger?: Ew.

Had sex with a stranger?: Ew.

Thought you’re going crazy?: Going, no.

Kissed the same sex?: Not really.

Done anything sexual with the same sex?: No.

Been betrayed?: Who has not?

Had a dream that came true?: I don’t think so.

Broken the law?: I would not know.

Met a famous person?: Not that I know of.

Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No.

On purpose?: Roaches are not animals.

Stolen anything?: I am slightly klepto, but I always returned things not long after. That was when I was still in school.

Been on radio/tv?: Sort of.

Been in a mosh-pit?: No.

Had a nervous breakdown?: Yep.

Bungee jumped?: No.

Had a dream that kept coming back?: Sort of.

Miracles?: *Shrugs*

Astrology?: Fun to read at times.

Magic?: *Shrugs*

God?: *Shrugs*

Satan?: *Shrugs*

Santa?: *Smirks*

Ghosts?: *Shrugs*

Luck: *Shrugs*

Love at first sight?: *Shrugs*

Yin and yang (that good can’t exist w/o bad?): Yep.

Easter bunny?: *Smirks*

Believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: No.

Do you wish on stars?: Sometimes.

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: No.

Do you think God has a gender?: No.

Where do you think we go when we die?: I gave up on that a long time ago.

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yep.

Who is your best friend?: Best is a funny word.

Who’s the one person that knows most about you?: I do not know.

What’s the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: Uh… I never got much advice.

Your favourite inside joke?: Quack.

Thing you’re picked on most about?: “You’re weird”.

Who’s your longest known friend?: Uh…

Newest?: CP and Neko.

Shyest?: CP and Neko.

Funniest?: Uh…

Sweetest?: *Smiles*

Closest?: Eh… my cat, maybe.

Weirdest?: Um…

Smartest?: Ack…

Ditziest?: None.

Friends you miss being close to the most?: Heh…

Last person you talked to online?: I’m talking to one right now.

Who do you talk to most online?: CP or Neko.

Who are you on the phone with most?: Dad.

Who listens to your problems?: Mom.

Who do you fight most with?: None really.

Who’s the nicest?: *Laughs*

Who’s the most outgoing?: Eh…

Who’s the best singer?: I would not know.

Who’s on your hit-list?: I once had one.

Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Ew.

Who’s your second family?: CP and Neko.

Do you always feel understood?: Hah.

Who’s the loudest friend?: Uh…

Who’s house were you last at?: *Smirks*

Name one person who’s arms you truly feel safe in: More like, I feel most safe snuggling my cat.

Do your friends really know you?: More than many.

Friend that lives farthest away: CP and Neko.

Do you consider love a mistake?: *Shrugs*

What do you find romantic?: Uh…

Turn-on?: Um…

Turn-off?: Eh…

First kiss?: Nope.

Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them?: Duh.

Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out?: It is not?

Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: *Laughs*

What is best about the opposite sex?: Those with a deep voice.

What is best about the same sex?: Lacking a certain thing. *Smirks*

What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: A certain thing.

What is the worst thing about the same sex?: A different certain thing.

What’s the last present someone gave you?: Swords. 😀

Do you consider your significant other hot?: *Chuckles*


Who Was the Last Person…

That haunted you?: Uh…

That you laughed at?: At?

That laughed at you?: That is difficult.

That turned you on?: A stranger with dark hair.

You went shopping with?: Mom.

That broke your heart?: Uh…

To disappoint you?: Eh…

To ask you out?: Heh.

To make you cry?: *Smiles vaguely*

That you thought about?: CP.

You talked to on the phone?: Dad.

You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Heh.

You saw?: mom.

You lost?: Uh…


Right This Moment…

Are you going out?: No.

Will it be with your significant other?: No.

Or some random person?: No.

What are you wearing right now?: Jeans, tank top, glasses, watch, dog collar on my wrist and my headsets.

Body part you’re touching right now: Funny.

What are you worried about right now?: Nothing.

What book are you reading?: I mainlt read Internet fictions.

What’s on your mousepad?: Blue.

Are you bored?: Not really.

Are you tired?: Sort of.

Are you talking to anyone online?: She’s getting dinner, but more or less, yes.

Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: I hate phones.

Are you lonely or content?: Content.

Are you listening to music?: Yes.

Are you eating anything?: No.


Two Names You Go By
1. Nyxity.
2. Whatever pet name my girls give me.

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Asian.
2. Bipolor.

Two Things That Scare You
1. Not in the mood…
2. … to write them out.

Two Everyday Essentials
1. Sleeping.
2. Drinking.

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Glasses.
2. Hair band.

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (as of now)
1. None…
2. … really.

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. Um…
2. I’d have to be in one to decide.

Two Truths
1. About…
2. … what?

Two things You Hate
1. The sound of vacuums or sounds like it.
2. There are others, but I cannot think at the moment.

Two things that appeal to you in the opposite gender
1. No breasts.
2. Deep voice.

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Sleeping.
2. Doing thing on the Internet.

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. I doubt…
2. … I’d write it down.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. I’d stay in my room, thank you.
2. South Padre is nice.

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Meet CP and Neko face to face.
2. Make sure my writings and art are not killed off with my departure.

Books I’ve read and loved :
Good Omens, Neverwhere – both by Neil Gaiman. Terry Prachett collaborated with the first one.