Mentally tired…

Well, this week has been a blur. This is mainly due to days spent mainly on research. I have a new “project”. It may fail. It is another shrine site. In between I am trying to finish up my other sites and do all the other daily routine things. I have given so many tasks to myself that I am not having trouble remembering or simply lack the time to do all of them.


Anyway, somewhere in this week the rat finally died as it had been caught by the trap. We only came to this conclusion when flies suddenly infested the house. My mother of course sent my brother to rid the house of it. I remember very little else for the week.

Last night my mother came into my room to rant out all of her problems. They regard my eldest brother and my sister. This is nothing new, so I doubt I’ll go into it. Her third problem dealt with her dog. It is not so much a problem anymore I think, but she did get a bit upset over a phone call she had with the woman who sold him to her. The woman said that at the age he is now, for him to still be running around like he is on speed gives indication that he will likely stay that way. Therefore, our yard is dead for good.

Sigh… um… This morning my mother noted her joint account checks are used up, so she only has about three hundred dollars in usable money through her private account. Therefore she will be shopping for groceries sparingly today. I suppose I’ll go on as normal and likely add in cleaning supplies I usually do not get to my list.

Oh yeah, despite the strong connection and it having the speed of 11 Mbps, the Internet is horrendously slow and often loads not a page the first time. I am getting off now.


Meh… I took a nap a while after the jelly experiment. My father and sister arrived not too long after. They went to Boerne with my brother to look at cars. I woke up about three to four hours later and they were still gone… that night they got me pizza.

I stayed up all night after that and put my dad’s Father’s day card out for him around four in the morning. Come nine, I brush my teeth, tried out that Gel-Kam and decide to lie down since I cannot drink anything for thirty minutes after using the stuff. I fell asleep… and I slept for about a day.

Sunday night my eldest brother came down for dinner and to see Dad on Father’s day. I remember my dad coming in about dinner, but I conked out right after. Then he came back again to tell me to say goodbye to my brother. I did not even realize he had come until then.

It was that time I found out just how weak my body was. I stumbled out of bed and was wobbly when on my feet. I said goodbye to him, waited until he left the house and then retreated to my room again. I fell asleep once more.

I woke up around four or five this morning. I got up to take a shower. After that I said good morning to my dad. Poor guy. We never really did see each other during his time here. I kept apologizing for that too.

My mom was up and I collapsed onto a chair in her room. I spoke to her about how I was feeling and the like. She is worried about me losing more weight. She told me my weakness was due to not eating for two days. I respond that it was not like I was trying not to eat. If she knew a way to eat and sleep at the same time, then I could have done something.

Eventually we leave her room. She feeds that cats and gets my meds, I look for something to eat. I snack on a roll until I can manage some more strength to actually make something. Pretty pathetic, I slumped down onto the floor and let my hand rest palm up on the kitchen floor to hold the roll when I was not bringing it to my mouth.

I finally rise to get something of an actual meal. I paused in “mid-struggle” to get something from a high cabinet. My mom offers to get something for me. I list to her what is up there and ask her to choose. She grabbed the soup. So, the soup was cooking, I started some laundry and put up some plates, I think.

When the soup was ready, I took it to the kitchen table, slouched down and ate. It was pathetic there too. Wielding a fork was tiring and I would think wryly that if weaker I’d likely have to rely on someone to feed me. The soup sucked too. I figure it was the low sodium.

After taking forever to eat, I finally finished and plunked the bowl into the sink. I believe I retreated to my mom’s room then and plopped down on the chair once more. My dad soon finished his shower and getting ready and came in to wake my sister up. They get ready and then headed for the door. My mom and I followed. I crouched while my mom stood in the driveway and saw them leave. After that I meandered into my mother’s room with her. I ended up falling asleep in there.

I woke up around ten later and rose. I did a bit of laundry and put up the dishes. I ended up going to my room and slept the rest of the day. I woke up at eight thirty and am now here.


I now know why I have avoided the PB and J combination all these years. The jelly makes my stomach upset. How lovely a way to start the morning with wishing to hurl not too long after eating breakfast and knowing I wasted money on trying to add some nutrients to my diet. I’m better off sticking to my “non-healthy” ways it seems. (I mainly eat grains and that is it.) Hah!

This week…

Huh… well… I cannot really keep up with the days this week since my sleeping pattern is a bit odder than usual. So… this will be pretty close to a listing. Um…

The Terminex guy came on Monday. I was confused as hell and was utterly lucky that my brother was home. I more or less left once I saw he was handling it. I read a book I ordered that day. It was okay. I think I was expecting more, but in any case it stuck enough for me to think about it the rest of the week.

I think Tuesday was just another day.

Yesterday the Terminex guy came again, my brother handled it and I read the other book I had gotten. It was somewhat better than the first, I think. Then later on I went to see the dentist for my final appointment. It finished thirty minutes earlier than the other times. Now I am done with all of that and will see her again my next cleaning.

I found I rather did not mind the visits. Sure, I mainly just sat there, listened to the dentist and assistant talk here and there and let my teeth be worked on… but it was pleasant and I really like my dentist.

In fact, she seemed to find me to be a pleasant patient. I humor her for some reason, but I seem to humor a lot of doctors be they psychiatrists, therapist or whatever. I have yet to understand.

Um… today is uneventful, really. I worked on my website a bit and added in another “side-site”. I’m a freaking dork. Bleh. Later on my mother intends for her, my brother and me to go out to eat since he will not be able to tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I think my dad is coming down. If not then, it will be Saturday. I got him a Father’s Day card yesterday. I feel relatively bad about getting him a mere card, but damn it! He does not make it easy to get him anything for any holiday.

Anything else? Eh, I guess I’ll mention this for the sheer heck of it. I’ve had an additional pill added to the cocktail. This one is a hormone one. I’ve had one everyday for about a month now. Much to my horror… my chest grew a bit. That is utter evil… Sigh…

*Rats, headache and a survey…

Jeez, what a day it has been. The day really started nearnoon. My mom came home from something and I mentioned to her about the sightings of mice pellets.

You see, there had been a mystery as to what happened to two pairs of pants she had hanging up to dry. Holes had been ripped out of a leg from each. She thought of the dogs, but that was impossible. She blamed the cats, but I doubted. So, Friday, when I was sweeping, I though, okay, that has to be it. Mice were chewing out pieces to make a nest.

So, today, I showed her where I found said pellets. Well, she looks up and there is a huge rat resting up on the drape holder.She could not really tell if it was a rat, or not since it was curled up into a ball. In any case, she was screaming and carrying on. She clutched to me and apparently I was laughing at her reaction.

The apparently comes along because I don’t remember laughing. My brother says otherwise. You see, her screaming and my laughing woke him up. So, my mom hopes he’ll do something about it, because my suggestion of me taking a broom to it did not meet her fancy.

We shooed her outside and went after it. It ran down the wall and we chased it. My mom constantly opened the door and asked if we got it and we kept screaming at her, “no”. Jeez, you’d think she would realize that if we got it, we’d come tell her. Bleh.

It went under my mom’s treadmill, the couch, the hutch and eventually ran to the end hallway where my brother and my rooms are. We hoped it was cornered. No. It went under my door. I cannot say I was too happy.

We searched all over the room and at one point I heard it near my small fridge. We looked. No rat. So, eventually we give up. My brother and I check the bathroom and closet near my room, no sign of it. He meanders off. I start straightening up my room, hoping my movement would spook it. I put furniture back into places and junk.

My cat kept going back to my room, showing curiosity. Yeah, we have cats, but they are so domesticated, they do not seem to know what to do about a rodent other than question what it is. Eventually he kept looking under my bed, so I took a flashlight and checked. I saw nothing even after cleaning stuff out from under it. Then my brother spoke up. I guess my cat caught sight of it. It ran out of my room as did my cat.

We lost it after that. My cat chased it, but they split at a corner, so he lost tail of it. I figure, hey, it is out of my room, so I’m all good. I’m keeping a chair throw at the bottom of the door to block entry of anything.

After that, the three of us went out to eat. I had a headache and my chest was hurting from all the crap from this “morning.” It carried on after when my mom and I went to get my groceries. We also got her a mop bucket on wheels that had a wringer to it. She owes me about forty bucks worth of cleaning supplies since she brought the wrong checkbook.

Anyway, we came back home and did some other things. I still feel like crap and my head still hurts. I will likely lie down after posting this. My mom just now went to church and when she gets back she intends to take me to Belks for some shorts since it is getting really warm out now.

(Did this around four to six this morning…)

Name: Nyxity.
Birthday: A day in December.
Current Location: Internet.
Eye Color: Brown.
Hair Color: Black.
Righty or Lefty: Left.
Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius.

Your fears: Screwing myself over royally.
Your perfect pizza: Thin crust, cheese.
Goal for future: I am not ambitious.

Your thoughts first waking up: “Is it night or morning?”
Your best physical feature: Hands.
Your bedtime: When able to.
Your most missed memory: No idea.

Pepsi or Coke: Diet coke.
McDonald’s or Burger King: Wendy’s.
Single or group dates: No date.
Adidas or Nike: No tennis shoes.
Lipton tea or Nestea: Water.
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or coffee: Just no.

Lie: Everyone does some point.
Take a shower: Every day.
Believe in yourself: Uh… doubt it.

Been on stage: Yeah.
Gone skating: Took to it like a duck on water.
Dyed your hair: Highlighted it once.

Gotten beaten up: Emotionally.
Changed who you were to fit in: ‘Would not know how to.

Are you old: Depends.
What did you do for your last birthday: I lack memory.

Best eye color: Hazel or brown.
Best hair color: Brown or black.
Clothing style: ‘Lack knowledge of fashion.

1 minute ago: Finished eating.
1 hour ago: Passed out.
1 year ago: Probably passed out from moving here.

I love: …
I feel: not too great.
I hide: mentally.
I miss: little.
I want: …
I need: to brush my teeth.

Website! Dude…

Well, I’ve been getting some things done. I bought some hosting on a spur of a moment sort of deal. I have been creating and destroying web pages for a little over half a decade now. Well, that is such a waste of html crunching, designing, editing and other BS. So, when I was crunching out codes and making a new site again on one of those free hosting sites… certain things began to annoy me again. Therefore, I could either destroy the site like the others… or… I’d take a gamble.

For a while I was going up and down on Libra’s scales. I have poor ability to translate things. Yes, I speak English, but I cannot understand simple concepts, apparently. Anyway, I searched about web hosting sites. You won’t believe how many I started filling out and then stopping because I began second guessing and getting confused. In the end I wound up back at the first place I had considered. As things usually work for me when making a decision, I said “Well, if I screw myself over, then I screw myself over.” I bought a place on the 31st of May.

Well, after that was settled I began my move. I had one site that was more or less complete and another one that I was in the middle of making. I spent a few days moving them. Anyway, it was just tonight, well yesterday evening, did my site get activated. I was giddy for a few minutes and then I hit to crunching codes. Now both my sites are functioning smoothly from my side of the Internet.

I did not think I’d really install a blog, since I had one elsewhere, but then I figured, I’ll see if I am able to and if it works, then I will move. Why? I’m paying for the place. I might as well get my money’s worth. So, here this baby is.

I really wanted to make my own layout, but I do not know enough about creating blog templates, so I just changed the color codes and a few width codes on the “Theme fSpring design” by Fredrik Fahlstad. I then did my own banner for the top. One day I’ll figure out how to do my own thing in regards to blog themes… some day.

Um… I am somewhat brain dead now… so… I guess I’ll stop here.

Mental Hiatus…

Um… I’ve been doing “side projects”.

My sister moved out of her apartment and is staying with friends.

My dad was down here Saturday until today.

Wednesday might be my final dentist appointment for now.

My dad and sister are going to NC for a week to see if Uncle Mike can get her some connections to a job.

I’ve lost weight for some odd reason.

My room seems to receive no A/C and it is already June.

I have a hat that says “Ireland” now; I was hoping to find one that said “I’m Irish”.

I’ve been out of it this week past week.

Edit: That up there proves it. ^