Posted most of this elsewhere, but I still had more to write… probably still have more to write… but there are other things to attend to.
Interesting article. I’ve only lived in small towns, doubted I’d ever make it in the city… but the small town I lived in during my toddler to high school graduation years… *Shrugs*
I may have grown up faster, learning to do chores, boil water and get my own food before I was eight… but I was a nail that when hammered got bent instead of going in straight. If you are a nail that can’t go in straight, you either are hammered at until you do go in straight or are pulled out and thrown in the trash.
Even my mom, a girl of the state we are living in, but not of the town I grew up in, was a poor farmer’s daughter growing up who never saw a dentist until she was in her twenties… not even she ever really belonged in that town despite being a teacher there for over a decade…
Unless your family had been in that town for three generations or longer… you were an outsider to the end. Didn’t matter if she was a great teacher, went to the football games to support her students and school, followed the rules and all… She didn’t have the “roots”, so if anyone with seniority butt heads with her… no one was going to be on her side.
Logically, I understand the article… I can get it logically… but the dying poor folk… *Shakes head* Those dying poor folk were a good percentage of what near killed me. It is funny. I live in another small town, now… It is better in this one, though… but then again, I don’t have to interact with anyone here beyond a hello, please and thank you.
In essence, I am sure all of the dying poor folk are good and well-meaning. Hell, made my best friend in that small town that is a nightmare to me… but… I just don’t feel it. Small town person that I am… I just don’t freakin’ feel it.
Normally in this case, if I can see the logic, I can find at least the sympathy. Not here. The things I wrote above… simplified it is that those dying poor folk are no bleeding different from the horrible, rich city people they feel are oppressing and killing their way of life. No freaking, bleeding different. Human is still freakin’ human.
Give me a real underdog. They may feel like victims because their way of life is dying, but it is their own freaking fault. Yes, I blame those poor, small towns. Why? Because they were too afraid of change, too stubborn to change and so as the world changed about them, they got left behind because they couldn’t even bend just a little to help themselves.
Change doesn’t mean having to give up everything. Yeah, it is scary, but it is inevitable. They didn’t have to change right away. They didn’t even have to change everything about their way of life. All they had to do was find a bit of courage, a bit of humility and bend just a little. Pride cometh before the fall. That is what their dying way of life is now. That is why their fall is so incredibly hard on them now.
It is just like the town my mom did grow up it. Unlike the town I grew up in and the town I am living in now, her hometown is still just as small as ever. The buildings are still incredibly old, but with a quaint, historical charm to them. It is hard for restaurants to really keep afloat for long and there is so little there… at best they have a gas station or so, a Wal-mart and some typical fast food restaurants… Pretty much there is nothing there to promote growth.
The town doesn’t even have a practicing physician anymore. There was one, but he was so set to not be undermined by someone up and coming, no new doctor was going to move in to compete with his practice and you know what resulted? Anyone aiming to be a doctor went elsewhere and when the guy finally finished his practice the town no longer had a doctor. There is still no freaking doctor in that town to this day. All its citizens have to outsource for medical care.
Poor dying folk my foot. Country Folk to City People? All the same.
Give me the people who have really been screwed and have done nothing wrong to deserve their lot in life. Give me the elderly who worked all their lives until they had to retire to so humble amount of pay they could starve to death if it weren’t for meals-on-wheels. Such a thing should not exist and yet it does.
Give me the veterans who have fought for this country and have ended up so broken they cannot even function in society anymore. There are even “people” out there who actually demand loads of money from vets due to a miscalculation on their own cursed fault. These “people” are the ones who overly paid them and the vets did what any person would do. They trusted those people and they spent the earnings on paying off bills, putting their kids through school and such. Then these “people” realize they overpaid them and now demand they pay that money back? Bull!
Give me others like me who were born or even raised in such a way that they cannot function by the majority standards. People who are so differently made we function differently in a world that doesn’t cater to our differences. I cannot even hold a freaking volunteer job in a low-stress environment because while said environment may be considered low stress for the majority norm, it can override medication and drive someone like me back to cutting and having thoughts of killing myself because I cannot handle the stress caused by stimuli that is absolutely tame for the norm.
All through the election of the main two candidates, I couldn’t see all that great of a future from either of them. Unlike those who strongly opposed Trump being President of the US, I’m not going to live in denial and say “He’s not MY President” or such nonsense. Wake up and small the coffee. If you are a citizen of this country, yes, he is your freaking president. Deal with it.
Nevertheless, unease certainly is inside me. Perhaps I AM fearful – anxious even. Nevertheless, one cannot dwell hard on the future. It cannot be predicted. Anything can happen. All I can try to do is follow the way of life I’ve been living for a while now: try to focus on getting through one day at a time. It is difficult. I keep thinking, “Keep calm and carry on.” I keep looking to the cats to help focus my mind on something I truly find beautiful. And when that uneasiness has been settling for too long, I admittedly have to rest, relax my body, focus my mind of other things and fall asleep to make it simmer down again.