The Wedding is Over…

Well, it is late Monday night and I have woken up from a four thirty to five hour nap. Since my last entry late Saturday evening I’ve been sleeping a lot of course. After my entry I got up, brushed my teeth and settled down in bed. Mom was staying up to watch some television and it was engaging enough that I stayed up with her. Around ten thirty or perhaps eleven, I cannot recall clearly, we went to sleep.
I got up again around five in the morning. Since my whole weekend mainly consisted of sleeping and being awake only to get nutrients and participate during the wedding related events, I had little time to myself. I checked some websites and then began to read. I read until eight thirty. Getting up I began to put most of my things away since during that time my mom had woken, did her yoga and likely a few various other things.
With only a few things left over like my teeth care supplies, we eventually went downstairs to eat breakfast at the grill we ate at our first meal there. It was a rather big breakfast we had, but most of the meals I had that weekend were big. I’m sure the meals helped my energy levels as did the endless sleep related collapsing.
We headed back up to our rented room then, I brushed my teeth and began to pack the rest of what few things I had left. I helped my mom with packing some of her things since she brings too much stuff by habit. Then it was a matter of time for my dad to arrive. I think he showed up around ten to ten thirty. So, we got to moving our luggage down to the parking lot and soon loading everything into the car. We left after that and headed for home.
Mom and I slept the trip back just like how we slept the entire trip there. My case was understandable since I got less sleep than her last night. Anyway, I woke upon our arrival home. My first priority was to find my cat. After a long search I found him under a bed. He was a bit leery of us, even me, but I couldn’t blame him so I let him be. Once things settled down he’d be okay.
I then began unpacking my things and my parents soon headed off to retrieve their dogs from the kennel they stayed at. I took that time to get my stuff in order, give the cats some wet food and eventually collapse again. I slept until around ten thirty that night.
Getting up, I took a shower and had a small dinner of Ramen. I decided to watch a few shows on the television and after being up for about three hours I hit the bed again. I’m not certain as to when I woke up again. Maybe it was ten? Maybe it was eleven?
Well, I ate a light breakfast consisting of a peanut butter sandwich. My body was still exhausted so I did what little chores I could manage. I then checked my email and various things before checking into my bank account. That was a troublesome endeavor.
I had tried to check it the night before but there were difficulties. Our bank merged, converted… something with another bank while we were gone. Therefore lots of things changed and had to be reaffirmed. Well, this time it was being a bit kinder and with my mother’s assistance I finally got it to work. I think the main problems the night before was because my debit card hadn’t been fully renewed yet. We called the bank to activated it mid afternoon the day before, so maybe that had something to do with it.
Anyway, with that squared away I again worked on putting order to some things in regards to my room. My cat was back to his usual self and I was still exhausted. I decided to rest on my bed for a while until my mom was ready to leave.
Since we were gone since Friday we hadn’t done our grocery shopping, therefore it was our duty to get that done today. After my mom got her bank account in order and checked her email we headed out. Grocery shopping was pretty much the same as usual for me despite my mom did some things that made it a bit frustrating, like wandering off… but we got the job done.
After that we picked up medicine and stopped by Wendy’s. Mom wanted a frosty and I was thirsty as well as in need of a quick snack to pick me up since I had a dizzy spell at the store. We headed home after that.
After unpacking groceries mom readied herself lunch and I ate my fries and drank my soda. We then went to the “cat/sewing room” to watch some television just to catch up on shows we didn’t see while gone. After two shows I was getting tired and went to take a nap. Mo got a page about a prescription she had dropped off when we went to get meds earlier. The rest of my day was spent sleeping after that.
I took a shower before starting this and started cooking some pasta in the middle. Eating now, I guess I’ll take a break before I move onto looking back on significant events during the wedding that weren’t addressed in my previous entry.
(Paused at 10:21 PM. Resumed 10:50 PM)
Okay… Well, despite the entire trip has exhausted me and revived some issues of mine, I will say there were some things learned. The some of the following might have been addressed in my previous post, but since I wrote that while I was semi-brain-dead  it doesn’t matter.
One thing I have established during the rehearsal dinner was that I seem to have a soft spot for the elderly. In a more elaborated sense, I find them easier to talk to and feel at ease with. A part of me wonders if it is because I seem to be like an elderly person despite my youth. There are those with old souls and I might be one of them, but usually when I say I am like an elder person, I mean it by mannerisms and such. I might be wrong on that, but it just feels that way at times.
Another thing learned is that while I still tend to feel like a different species, an alien in a small isolated world watching those I will never understand… I do not become as depressed about this knowledge as I would have when younger. I suppose it is because I know my nature better than I used to. I know I will never be a part of that world and even if I was included it would never have the significance I see it to have in reality when it regards me. I experience things differently. Just being at the wedding is proof of that.
Despite I was there physically to be a part of it… on an emotional, mental and spiritual way, I was still unable to experience the feelings and thoughts everyone else was. At the dinner I saw people being friendly, telling stories and bonding. Most of the conversations I couldn’t join in on since I was never there or was unable to remember – my memory is particularly poor. Therefore I was mainly silent and listened. I could only pick up bits of the conversations though. I did smile at times, find some things amusing, but again there was that distance. I realize now that even when I am included, I will never have the true connection. It is sad, but it is how I am apparently.
There were other instances of feeling quite misplaced, but I think the point is addressed well enough. Now there are some things that I learned that is less on an introspective level and more like a personal history enlightened. I write it for the memory since remembering on my own is rather futile.
After arriving to where the wedding was to take place my family encountered my grandmother, now brother’s neighbor. After catching up it was soon just her and me talking. She tried to refresh my memory about things in the past, but I sadly do not recall. Then again I was likely a toddler at best in regards to the memories she spoke of.
Apparently my fondness for the elderly was proven yet again because she relayed to me about how whenever the rest of the family left to do things like go to the movies, the mall or do errands I always insisted on staying home with my grandmother. This amused me and made me smile. I remember none of that but it is nice to know that while I remember no particular bond with my grandmother, I apparently had one.
Another thing she noted was that back when we lived up in Alaska when she visited us I would have nothing to do with her and only wanted to be with her daughter. Then in all irony, when we were down here I wanted nothing to do with her daughter and only wanted to be around her. What was up with me back then, I have no idea. It is interesting as well as amusing to know, though.
The last story she told me was how my sister, cousin and I would hang around her home at times when we were little. Apparently my sister and cousin would help her husband make soup often. She claimed I helped, but my mother thinks it is unlikely considering my age. I likely watched at best. Still, it was said that if my parents and grandparents couldn’t find us, it likely meant we were over there.
Well, I believe I’ve written down the main things I wanted to remember or found significant. It is 11:09 now. I still feel rather awake so I suppose I’ll stay up a bit longer.
For notes, My sister’s birthday is tomorrow and I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday. Other than Thanksgiving, I don’t think there are any other plans or events occurring this month. Thank god.