Results and Nothings…

Bah! It was cancerous! Sigh… still, the doctor said the tests led to show it hadn’t spread. My brother will get a CAT scan though to be 100% certain. So… here’s hoping.
I don’t know what’s up with my G-aunt. I’m assuming all is okay since no one has called us. I’m guessing she’s just settled in at the rehab thing.
Other than that, my week has been okay. I’m still sleeping more than I’d like… but… who knows? I’ve also gone down on my speed when walking in the morning. Apparently 3.6 mph was too much on my ankle and rendered it to the state of painfulness and me to vague limping. Bah…
I haven’t seen Neko much. She is one busy chica. Still, summers were always busy for her from what my memory tells me. Birthdays, stress, family things and all that fun stuff. Still, she managed to get a part time job at the place she’s been volunteering at. Yeah, it is the very bottom with little pay. Still, it is good. She made a step up because in all truth, I believe she is doing the exact same stuff she’s been doing. Yay! Finally getting some pay out of it.
I haven’t seen Shred much either. He did show me a video in the beginning of the week though. Memories of my childhood thoughts popped up from it. It seems Neko had seen it before as well. We got it and I found it nice to know she had similar feelings as me. It was a comforting thing.
My story is coming along okay, but I think I’m slowing down on juice. It is 249 pages now and that makes me happy. I also think that long story that still always has tweaking is overall finished for once. Yeah, it’s amazing. I finally got in the one thing I wanted to. It is the easy way out and goes in with the epilogue stuff, but still!
I’ll likely write short stories and side stories pertaining to the characters though. They are my brain children. Brain children are love.
Sigh… well… Other than that, I see my head doctor tomorrow afternoon. I’m thinking on showing her my “art book”. I meant to the last time I saw her, but forgot it. I’ve become more resigned to letting people see my stuff. Not so much, I’ve got to know them and all… but I’m easing up.
Yeah…

Bloody Eventful…

Tuesday I learned my Great Aunt tripped and broke her ankle. Mom said she’d likely have surgery the same day as my brother – Thursday. She’s getting up there in her years. Mom said she’s around eighty-five now. Well… after all that she’ll likely have to be put in a place to be looked after properly since her daughter, my mom’s cousin, can’t be there all the time due to work and all.
I also learned my brother’s thing isn’t caused by STDs according to tests. They still only know it to be a mass though and the surgery will cost $5,000. That isn’t including the prepping and all that other stuff… just the removal. Oi.
Wednesday night I asked about my brother’s surgery. My mom told me he’d go on at nine thirty and would wait an hour, getting prepped and such. Surgery would likely start at ten thirty. The surgery should last forty five minutes or so. After that he’d be under anesthesia for two hours. The earliest he’d likely get out was one.
He and my mom talked on the phone. My brother has work insurance, but they don’t cover the doctor he has. Mom mentioned things being worked out though since said doctor is the only one who specializes in the area within a certain radius… I think she said fifty mile?
I admitted a part of me wondered about karma. While my brother isn’t essentially a bad person… he has done some bad things in life. As said, he’s already put in a ton of toxins in his body since… maybe when he was twelve. Then I remind myself that bad things happen to good people though. At most my brother is the gray area.
Still, it is a very intense situation. While I tend to numb up in these scenarios, I do feel sorry for him. My mom admitted he sounded close to breaking down when he talked to her on the phone. She said he actually admitted being scared to her and neither of us can remember a time he’s really said such a thing before.
He told my mom he didn’t want us there while he was at the hospital. I can understand why he wouldn’t want Dad there. I think he’d be uncomfortable at most with me there, but not afraid I’d freak out. He’d be fine with just my mom there, but then dad would come. It was agreed to. Mom and I easily understood. My dad didn’t say anything but did agree as well.
As noted times before in previous entries… my dad does poorly when it comes to bad situations if they should concern the family. He usually doesn’t know what to do, gets panicked, yells, becomes irritable or when semi-fine he cracks stupid if not lewd jokes. If he went to the hospital he’d likely fret like mad, pace the entire time and be restless. Knowing that, my brother just didn’t want that happening. It would have made him more nervous and as my mom kept noting, it would make him feel even less in control.
While my mom is the pillar of the family, my brother has been an additional pillar at times too. Since my dad doesn’t handle these situations well, it was usually my brother who stepped in and took command. While my brother has been scared through this he had asked my mom to look after dad. It is just how it is. We worry about worrying my dad. So we usually talk to mom first if not only. Pretty odd I guess… the one going into a life changing surgery worried about the sanity of a family member who is on the side lines.
It is all about the illusion of the control one processes I think.
Dad thinks he can’t control something he flounders and panics.
Brother finds himself in a spiral and he’ll try to find what he can control even if it is something small.
My mom keeps faith, logic and some empathy on her. One might say she puts herself in God’s hands most of the time. She prays.
Me? I’ve concluded a long time ago almost everything is an illusion. Reality is a fragile illusion we use to make ourselves feel safe. It is all about control. So… I just kind of go numb and go with the flow. What happens will happen.
Anyway, it was decided that my parents would be called and when he was okay to go they would pick him up. My dad went to bed after mom relayed enough of the phone call to him. She and I stayed up until ten after that. We talked a bit, I made sure I knew what was happening, we talked about possible cancer and she eventually went onto bed.
I talked about it some with Neko. She had some family problems herself as well, but didn’t share. Oh well. The rest of the night was just enjoyably chatting with her.
I woke up later than usual this morning. I got in my walk, dusted and did some chores. After that I sat outside with my mom while she said plenty of prayers.
My brother went in as planned. We were still outside when we assumed he was just getting into surgery. Mom went out walking and Claire, a woman who’s worked with my brother, had gone all the way to the hospital to see him without any of us knowing. She kept trying to call my mom with our home phone but she kept getting cut off. She did eventually get her on her cell. My dad came home during lunch time and stayed after that.
Well, when one came around my parents left to go to the hospital. I stayed home. My brother went back to his own place and my parents came home. From what I hear he was snappy, protective and yelled at my dad when he got too catering. My brother even got out of the wheel chair before it got to the car, so the nurse just kept wheeling it behind him as he walked.
My mom of course rationalizes all of it. My brother is scared, worried if it is cancer, what will happen to him if it is, his manhood being at stake and all that jazz. He apparently went on about how my father is treating him as a little kid and my mom sees it as control issues. Lack of control over his life is bothering him and all. So, she drove.
Dad started tending to the yard, likely due to nervous energy or stress. My brother texted my mom to ask her to apologize to dad. So… yeah.
Now we are just waiting to find out if the tumor was cancerous or not.
I crashed after that. It was three and I woke up again around five to five thirty… maybe? My “Aunt” called. She gave my mom a progress report on my Great Aunt. She went into surgery too today. They set her ankle and moved her to a rehabilitation place. On the way there, however, her chest began having pains. With her heart condition it could very well have been mild heart attacks. The people then tried to take her to another facility. My aunt and her daughter had no idea about this and had been waiting for her to arrive at the rehab place. Sigh… So, what will happen after this… who knows?
Other than that, the rest of the night has been normal. Yeay…
Oh yeah… I did something to over strain my ankle somehow. I rested it on Tuesday. Wednesday it hurt too much though. I walked on it again today but wound up returning to my semi-limp mode. I’ll rest it tomorrow and try a lighter walk the next day I guess. How annoying…

Losses…

Well, dinner was less than appetizing to me on Sunday and that of course upset my dad. Oi. I won’t go into that.
My brother came by for dinner. The ER couldn’t help him out much other than agree with him that something was wrong. So, he was to see a doctor, who specialized in the area, I guess.
Today he went somewhere. Cancer hasn’t been picked up on the tests, but the doctor says that the tests can fail at times. Nevertheless, he still needs surgery. So, Thursday he is going in and having the area that holds the mass removed and will have a prosthesis.
My dad and Brother came home at lunch, and if they already had those results, they never told me. My brother, I can understand. My father I can understand. They just went on as normal around me.
I found out from my mother. She got home and said she guessed I knew about the results. I didn’t and wondered why she would think Dad would ever talk to me about such a thing. I guess she realized that soon enough.
Because of this, she skipped jury duty though. After all, this is a serious family matter. She went onto work and got home later than usual. She seems her usual self though.
I just thought all of this should get written down.

Loud Colors in a Blur…

Eh… Again, this will just be of highlights I recall. Tuesday night my dad came to the back room where my mom and I are when watching TV. A baby bird fell out of its nest. It was around eight then, so I left the room to see. It looked to be a baby dove. It wasn’t in shock and it looked unharmed. At the time I had been hopeful. The parents would hopefully come back and save it.
The next day when I went to get the mail, I saw it again. Well, I thought I saw it. I pointed it out to the mailman and he noted there seemed to be another one. The one I saw apparently was its sibling. The one from the night before was still in the area I last saw it. I wasn’t so hopeful after that.
I checked again that afternoon. They were gone from their spots, so I was hopeful once more. That is, until I was found them on the other side of the yard. They were still alive and apparently able to move easily. Still… they were stranded.
I really wanted to save them. I wanted to take them in and place them at least in the atrium where they would be safe. Alas, I have no idea how to take care of birds. I had no idea how old they were and ultimately knew I lacked the stamina or stress control to do the job. Sadly, I never checked back on them again.
Neko hasn’t been on much. She is a busy girl. It seems she’ll be taking some college classes again. She only has two semesters left, but she reacts to college a bit like me. She is stronger though. I only lasted three classes. She will start again around the 11th.
Shred also will be starting his summer classes soon. He starts tomorrow. Pretty much he starts the same day my mom has to go back for jury duty. Oi.
I still seem to be in my tired spell. It sort of worries me a bit, really. I go to bed from around twelve to two and sleep until six. I take my meds and snooze until seven. Usually I get up, eat and stay up. Lately… I just wind up falling asleep again. As of late I take two naps during the day time. I just collapse. I still eat regularly; I have still been getting in my two-mile walks despite this… what is the bloody problem? Oi.
Well, I’m fortunate in any case. I can sleep when I need it. My brother on the other hand has issues popping up. The other night Mom mentioned a concern he had about his body to her. The concern deals with a male cancer. Well, today he went in to get it checked out now that he is apparently scared enough to do something. Mom wanted him to go to a specialist, but he went to the ER. Oi.
So, now we are worried about him. Upon hearing what his concerns are, I couldn’t help but think it is effects from all the drug use he did. For all I know he still uses drugs, however. Sadly, my mom thought the same thing… taking in toxins all the time.
Well… that is all the news that comes to mind. Well, I have reached 164 pages on that concept story, though. Anyway, this month I have appointments in the 12th and the 29th. On the 12th I’ll see Mrs. Wynne. The other is a doctor appointment. It is five-forty and dinner time is approaching.

Being Tired is Annoying…

Uh… Well, I really can’t remember much of anything the past week. Oops.
I talked with Den over the weekend too. I gave her some advice, but I realized later she never asked for any. Oops. Well, she can take it or throw it away. Still though, she looks to be doing better.
My net friend, Neko, lost Internet for the weekend, though. I didn’t get to talk to her again until last night. Her life seems to be the same old, same old though, so I guess we missed little of anything “amazing” in each others’ lives.
I’ve been writing and reached 104 pages now! Whoot! Neko seems to like it so far. It makes me happy. I write to write, but she and her sister are two people I’m able to share it with. They seem to love my characters almost as much as I do. It is a shame I have no Idea where I am going with this one, but it is okay. I just hope it actually has an ending.
I drew a bit as well. Neko wanted mentioned my characters and asked if I drew any of them. I realized I hadn’t for a long time. Before my whole change od diet and schedule I’d draw quite an amount. It was nothing fancy or anything, but I would work my wrist out some and get a simple line drawing done.
The other big thing is an event I was dragged to on Sunday. An Arts and Craft Fair is held here every year I guess. I went last year. It was hot, I got a headache, this dude was singing in this room and it didn’t help my headache at all and later on I ended up twisting my ankle. I limped for a good long while after that and even now I wear an ankle bandage when I know I’ll be walking for a long time.
Well, this year the ground was unsteady as usual, so I was greatly focusing on keeping my balance. I think my parents, or at least my mom, noticed I was very wobbly. I received no headache this time and it wasn’t as hot this time around. We walked, looked and all that jazz. Other than trying not to tumble over because of my bloody weak ankles, it was fine. Mom got a bunch of Christmas gifts to give out later in the year and a few things for herself. By the end of it though, I was tired and my left foot, the weakest ankle, was freaking sore.
I haven’t seen Shred for a while despite the contacts as of late. I figure it is school or work. He is one bloody busy dude. I kind of wish he’d win the lottery and take some time off for a while. Oi…
I guess there isn’t much more for me to write. Today was just normal. Sure, it is Memorial Day and my dad stayed home… but it is just another decent day to me. I’m sleeping a lot lately though. I guess I’m in my odd “suddenly needs to sleep more” phase of the month. I don’t know if I’ve passed my “drink more water than I already do” phase or if that will be coming up soon. Heh. My body is bloody weird.

Eventful Days…

Well, I’m not up for back tracking much, so this will be consisted more of highlights. I talked to Shred for a while before the weekend hit. He and I determined my computer is suffering from low memory. I have one gigabyte of RAM… apparently it isn’t enough anymore.
Shred later talked about trying to come down and see me. He would be staying somewhere an hour’s drive away for the weekend. Well, that was troublesome since my weekends are busier than my weeks. I gave him my number and figured we’d get back on that.
It wouldn’t have worked out. I did clean my room up a bit in case such did occur, but we never made contact during the weekend. Saturday wouldn’t have been too great of a day since it rained half the day and I was in a sluggish mood after grocery shopping. If he had come by my free time would have been from two to five maybe and during that I struggled to stay awake.
Later my cat gave me a scare. My mom found a roach and I came to the rescue with the bug spray. I drenched it down good. A while later I reenter and I find my cat fished it out from somewhere and had it in his mouth. He was shaking his head like it was a piece of meat needing to be tenderized. I of course cried out and he dropped it. I was disturbed when he was licking the taste out of his mouth and off his paws.
I informed my mom and she told me to wash his mouth out and clean off his fur. I did so. After that I locked him in my room with me and I kept an eye on him. To my luck nothing terrible came out of it, but before that had been determined I recall telling him not to die on me because I hadn’t had him for a whole year and he was supposed to live until he was twenty, damn it.
I was still tired Sunday. I didn’t even get in my walk. Still later in the morning I woke to find an email from one of my elusive twins. It made me happy. I hadn’t talked to this one for about three years. We emailed for a while, she rejoined the board we met at and we’ve been chatting through messenger the past two nights. It seemed they received the Christmas presents I sent them, despite they didn’t find them until around the end of January because the mail man left them stuffed in some bushes apparently. Oi.
Later on that night my dad’s dog got a stick lodged into his throat. Yeah, the idiot swallowed a stick. So, he choked on it for a while until he finally threw it up. It panicked my dad greatly.
Monday was better. I was feeling a bit more energized and did my usual routine. The story I started on the first reached to about eighty pages. I still have a long way to go with it and my ideas are blurry. Oh well. I can’t remember much else about the day sadly… my memory semi-sucks.
Around the time my parents came home I was heating up leftovers from Sunday night. I pulled out a roll and placed it on the counter to eat once my soup was heated. I left the room for a minute and came back to find the bloody thing gone! I then saw my mom’s dog nearby. He looked bloody happy and was wagging his tail. I knew he was the culprit. I of course yelled at him.
The dogs are becoming infamous. You see, earlier that day my dad’s dog had eaten the cat’s food off the kitchen counter sometime when I was on my walk. Later he had gotten to another bowl of cat food that was in a guest room. As for my mom’s dog, the day before she made muffins. He stole a freshly baked muffin off the table and devoured it!
Sigh… Dogs are troublesome. Even if a cat tries to snitch something, it is just a small piece. You can saw off the “infected” area and eat the great amount that is left. They aren’t sneaky about it either. Our dogs are sneaky. They act dumb, but they have their smart moments. They know it is wrong and they know if we catch them they are in trouble. They always wait until no one is around. Evil!
Sigh…
Well, the night progressed. I talked to Neko some and around eight my mom wanted to watch TV. she told me about a scare she had over the weekend. She makes her own peanut butter. While she was sampling some left over peanut butter that wouldn’t fit in the jar she wound up discovering a piece of glass in her mouth. It freaked her out.
After that, mom went to bed and I saw Neko again. She and I chatted until it was time for us to go to bed. I didn’t hit the bed until 1:30.
I got up at 6:58. Dad had given me my Nexium an hour before. I ate my breakfast and took my walk at eight. I did some chores. Mom came back. She had jury duty today but all the cases either were postponed or plea bargains were made, so she was done early. She has to return on the first of June though.
I was tired by ten, so I took a nap. Mom disappeared to go to work somewhere not long after that I suppose.
I woke again at twelve. I made my usual peanut butter sandwich and snacked on some grapes. My dad and brother came home at lunch time. At 1:30 we left. Dad was dropped off and my brother took me to the doctor’s appointment. It was just a follow up. I was there for an hour.
The usual stats were taken and the doctor asked me questions. I asked my questions. I’ll stay on my Nexium for another month. If I still need something, I’ll go to Zantac. If bad stuff is still occurring I’ll have to see a doctor and have tests done. Oi.
I asked about my cholesterol as well. I had relayed my diet, my disinterest in sweets and that I walked two miles every day for forty minutes. I’m doing fine, he said and we assume it might be my genetic make up. Since I know little to nothing about my birth parents, however… It can only be assumed. It relieved me though. It meant I wasn’t doing anything wrong; I just had it in my genes like my mom.
Well, I left, my brother took me home and I questioned him about something bothering me. Mom’s been losing money again. That of course is a bad sign. So, I asked him… was he stealing? He said no of course. He said he had no way of doing such a thing since he was never around. I pointed out we see him every Sunday night and such. The talk continued. He said he would have preferred that Mom confronted him about it. I told him she didn’t tell me, I just noticed she was missing money.
Well, in the end he still denied. I didn’t push. I never do. I just let him know my thoughts. I got out of the car; I thanked him for having to wait for an hour and the ride and then headed into the house.
Now I am here typing this. I need to finish up some more chores now. Blah.

Bloody Busy…

Well, Tuesday I went on the usual “haircut expedition”. I skipped my usual walk since last Friday I stumbled and hurt my ankle again. I did walk during the weekend without trouble, but I figured it needed a rest.
I woke up at five to take my Nexium. At six I ate breakfast. Six-twenty, I showered. By seven-ten I had everything gathered for the trip – a book, music and water. My mom finally was ready to go a little after seven-thirty.
We stopped by a small grocery store so my dad could get his morning paper. He was then dropped off at work. Mom stopped by the bank to find the ATM was not working, so some time was wasted at the drive in. We then stopped for gas. The lady we were waiting behind was just finishing up, when a truck comes along and parks next to the car in front of her. She couldn’t get through, so then she had to wait for one of them to move and we thus had to wait on her.
Well, we finally got to the gas tank. The guy who had caused the traffic had decals and such. I assumed he served once and his license plate had a handicap sign on it. A car not far from his had one too.
When we were through there, I talked to my mom. Our first conversation was of course… the handicapped.
I had noted the things about the guy in the truck. We both decided that just because he was old and he had that symbol on his truck didn’t give him the right not to be considerate. I suppose if he was in a wheelchair I would have given the pass. One handicap parking spot was already taken and so it would make sense if a person in a wheelchair parks right in front of the store for convenience. This dude was walking fine though.
In the end, the person who was in the parking lot was a young guy I saw go in earlier. I didn’t notice he was the one who owned the car since I didn’t get a view of his legs until we were leaving. One leg had a prosthetic.
So, we talked about the lack of parking places and the less than easy ways to get to places in the world. I noted it was all due to majority and minority though. While there is supposed to be enough parking spaces and easy entry for those in wheelchairs, there obviously aren’t.
Mom mentioned about a woman who lost both her legs while in war. She had prosthetics like the guy we saw earlier. We pondered on the difficulties of how it would be to balance like that. If I were in such a position, I figured I’d likely stay in a wheelchair unless when going out to places like restaurants or whatever.
After that we talked about various things. How Native Americans were kept alive in the US, how tribes in Africa were sort of the analogy to them. That led on to the Middle East and all those countries that lack in unity and such. At some point I asked where Norway was and we spoke of places we wouldn’t mind visiting.
We’d pause here and there, but had some more off and on conversations. Those I don’t remember too well since I started to get a head ache around nine. Still, it was overall enjoyable.
We arrived to our destination by ten-eight. Mom was pleased with how smooth the trip went this time. We stopped by an IHOP to eat a light brunch. The night before I had requested we stop and eat since it would make it easier in terms of my ulcer. So, we ate what we usually get at IHOP restaurants.
We left afterwards and headed to the mall. With time to spare, my mom meandered about. She wanted to get some earrings some point and checked out some clothes. After that we split paths when she headed to attend her appointment and I just decided to wander.
The mall is still pretty sad. Not much changed since last time. There really isn’t much there. There are some clothing stores, movie stores, some places that sell jewelry, some places to get food and then just various cart shops.
To my fortune Earthbound Trading was still there though. I meandered in there despite they usually have nothing new. It gives me something to do and lets me wander. After surveying the whole store, I saw a few things I had no need for whatsoever, but considered just for the heck of it. In the end I got a metal dragon with glass-wired wings. I thought it would do well with my blue-stuff.
After that I headed back to where my mom was. I found her getting her hair colored in the back. Taking an empty seat, I sat down and read until my appointment was up. I apparently lost track of time because my stylist came back there to get me.
So, I retreated and got my hair shampooed. Then I got my usual hair cut only the back is a bit shorter and the front is a bit longer. It was all for summer and dang I hate the heat…
Well, that eventually was finished up. I paid and left a tip and then meandered out to the front of the salon. I resumed my reading out there and listened to music. Time passed, I got cold and so I decided to see how my mom’s hair was progressing. I think she had just gotten in to see her stylist. So like before, I wandered over, sat down in an empty chair and waited.
I watched for a while, listened and commented about something. After that I resumed my reading. I had been reading the same book each time we came there. I was finally getting close to the end. I read it before a long time ago without the three month interruptions, so I did okay in semi-recalling certain characters I began reading about a year ago.
Well, my mom finally finished. We got up, she paid, she got some hair products and we headed downstairs. She continued on with looking for jewelry and eventually got a few earrings. Then she wanted to find some clothes. So, I followed her around for maybe thirty minutes or so. My ankle was acting up by then, however so I sort of limped after her. Ha. Well, she finally made her purchases and we left.
As usual, before we leave town, we stopped to get in a meal since it had been about four or so hours since we last ate. We went to our usual place and had out usual waiter. I found out he was of mixed descent. Mom found out he was going to computer school and would finally finish soon. So… we don’t know if we’ll see him again our next trip around.
After that, we paid. Mom paid for our meals and I paid the tip. We then went back to the car and headed home. Like all these expeditions do, I was exhausted by then. I wound up falling asleep once we got out of town.
We got home just as my dad did. I was achy and still tired, so I just went to my room and hit the bed. My mom woke me to watch TV. I figured I might as well. The resting part was mainly for my body. My foot hurt like a son of a gun and I couldn’t take Advil. My muscles just wanted to relax. TV would be fine.
I fixed up some noodles and asked for a heating pad. We watched TV; I ate dinner and more or less turned my foot red trying to make it stop hurting. I think the pain was a combination of a cramp and just a sore ankle. Either way, it still was achy after our ritual.
I tried to stay up after that since I always try to eat around twelve. I was still too tired. I lay down at ten and I didn’t wake up except during odd hours of the night for only a few minutes each. I did get my Nexium in me by six the next morning and did get up to eat breakfast around seven. Thirty minute later, however… I was asleep again. I didn’t wake up until twelve after that. I only woke up because my brother stopped by to eat lunch and brought me something as well.
I got up, started on my chores and then stopped to eat. It was good. I mentioned later to my brother how well I’ve been eating this week, noting the day before.
After that I got back to the kitchen chores and then started a load of clothes. Since my brother was there I figured I’d save vacuuming for later.
So, I got my shower in and kept myself at a slow pace the rest of the afternoon. I was determined to stay up. That didn’t work out. Concentrating was not a strong suit. I decided to fall back on drawing then. I figured it would be a good time to get that aforementioned concept down on paper.
I got the important things done and left it at that. To finish I need some specific markers, so I’ll have to wait until I order some in. By that time it was getting close to four. I was hungry again, so I made a peanut butter sandwich and played a few computer games.
Dad came home at five. By then I was really struggling to stay alert. I finally said “screw it”. So, I hit the bed around five-thirty.
I didn’t wake up again until eight. My mom peeked in and asked me if I was asleep. I responded. She asked about watching TV. I got up. I heated up some soup and then joined her.
We watched shows for an hour or so. After that Mom got ready for bed and I handled some chores. I found my ankle was still pretty weak.
I got back on schedule Thursday. I took my pills, ate breakfast, did my walk, did chores, slept, woke up, ate lunch, did more chores, slept, woke up watched TV with mom, ate dinner, did some last minute chores, stayed in my room, ate my last meal of the day and then slept. I managed to get dusting in there and vacuuming, which were things really needed to be done.
Friday was usual as well. My computer is being a bit of a pain as of late though. For the most part it is low memory, java script overload and all that jazz. Oi. I have been working on that concept story as well. It reached thirty-nine pages. During the process I had been looking up class lessons for elementary school levels for “research”. I only vaguely remember that stuff. So much for my education… Even more, I still haven’t gotten it to the whole idea that “drove” me to start writing this piece of junk. There are hints here and there, but it has a long way to go. Heh.
Saturday was one bloody busy day. I had my usual morning routine. Then by eleven my dad and I left to get groceries. Since it would be Mother’s day the next day we added in getting her presents. So, we went to the other side of town to the Hallmark store. I bought mom one of her freakishly expensive candles – $27.99 in all. We picked up a little cat statue as well. It went to a series and we had gotten the other one for my mom’s b-day earlier this year. We then headed to Wal-Mart so my dad could get his present.
We finally got back home around two, I think. We unloaded, unpacked and put up. Dad went out to get himself some lunch and brought me back a strawberry smoothie. I managed to drink half of it before my mom decided to go out and do her errands. I of course followed.
So, we went to the local crafts store. She looked for glass jars and baskets to use in her office. She also grabbed some fake plants to put in some pots for an area that will NEVER grow anything. For a while we also stopped to sample candle scents and she decided to grab a bamboo one. Also grabbing a small vase to actually hold two bamboo shoots she has, we then left once she paid.
Our second stop was at the Dollar General store. she hoped to find small toys for her clients to play with when they are in her office. We had no luck there. So, we headed on to a health food store where she got some cranberry concentrate and we got some drinks to sustain us. My drink was of course water. Ha.
After that we headed to CVS. Mom placed in an order to my prescription for pills and then we went on to a plant store. We couldn’t find a parking place. So we headed to Walgreen’s.
Mom has been doing battle with Walgreen’s for a while. I meandered since it usually took her some time at the counter. Ends up, for some reason my Medicaid listed the wrong insurance as the primary. All this time and finally someone checked into it. Oi. Mom said it likely wouldn’t be any different at CVS then until the matter is solved. Double oi.
Well, after that mom looked for some lotion and found her kind wasn’t supplied, so she got something else of the same brand. Then she wandered around the toy sections to see if they had anything of use. They did. She went to a counter then to check out but the lady who told her to go there never came back.
I wandered off and soon enough found my mom had too. She went back to the toys and traded one for another and then headed back to the same counter. I gave her a look of, “Why the heck are you still waiting here?” Well, she got the hint and went to the front to check out. There we were in luck.
After that we stopped by the plant place again. There was a parking spot this time. Alas, they had nothing of use. Mom went for my dad’s sake. He wanted some small landscaping rocks in a small bag and for her to get some hanging baskets to put out front. They had nothing.
I think our next stop was across town after that. We stopped at OfficeMax. Mom wanted a small bulletin board, desk drawer organizers and some sticky putty. We lucked out in the second and third, but not the first. Since she still needed the other two, we headed off for our next place.
So, we headed for Wal-Mart… Yes… I was going there again. Mom had a list going. So, we looked for an ironing board cover and had no luck in that. Mom then needed some pillows for her office chair. I found some and she got them. After that I directed her to where the office supplies were. She found a bulletin board.
Mom also wanted to get some snack foods for her clients to be able to eat while in her office. So, we headed to cereal section. She got some Nutri-grain bars and then checked the candy aisle. She got Jolly Ranchers, Starbursts and a chocolate bar variety pack. I commented it was almost like Halloween. We decided to leave then. I mentioned to mom about the hanging plants and landscape rocks, since Wal-Mart likely had that stuff. Mom said dad could do it himself. Heh.
I was getting really tired by then.
After that, mom made a quick stop at a place called “Sally’s”. She needed some nail stuff that helps harden her nails and make them grow. She got it, bought it and we left.
Our last stop was another plant store. We had gone to two bloody places and now a third for plants. Well
mom did get her hanging baskets finally. She got two ferns and some sort of shade plant with red flowers. She bought them, we loaded them and to my relief we headed for home.
We got back, brought in the shopping bags and I headed to my room to grab a drink. It was five o’clock then. I needed to eat, but I just wanted to rest for a while and take a breather. I realized that Saturdays are interestingly the busiest days of my weeks then.
By six, Mom wanted to watch some TV. I began cooking my noodles and headed to the room mom and I congregate at. To my thanks, the rest of the night went by normally. I think I went to bed around one.
Sunday was less eventful, but still had stuff going on. My morning went as it usually did. Then after I took my shower, Dad and Mom came home from church. Dad wanted me to come along with him to Wal-Mart to get some ingredients for a salad he was going to make for supper. I obliged despite I was still worn out from the day before. We went, he got things and I mainly stayed quiet.
When we got back home, Dad decided that was a good time to have Mom look at her presents. She opened mine first. She said I didn’t need to get her candle, since she knows they are bloody expensive. Then she opened Dad’s gift. It was one of those digital photo frames. She loved it. Then she opened the little cat statue and placed it next to her other one. They balanced each other out nicely.
I think after that I headed to my room and collapsed. Perhaps I was up for an hour before the collapse… I don’t really know.
I woke up again around two, I think. I made a peanut butter sandwich and saw dad was already cooking the soup that would be my dinner. I then meandered back to my room. I worked a little on the story again, ate and surfed the net. I guess I was still pretty out of it. Some point during that I heard my eldest brother and his girlfriend arrive.
At some point I finally emerged. I visited with my family. Mom took pictures with her digital camera and we watched some TV.
At some point my brothers went to run some errands for my dad, so I took the main chair. My body was aching a bit. I was apparently still tired.
Eventually they came back and my eldest brother rejoined us. There was more TV and more talk. We ended up watching the beginning of “My Fair Lady”. I’ve never seen it before. Well, soon enough, dinner was ready.
Mom said the blessing and then we ate. There were two kinds of salad, some sort of rice dish that was beyond my interest, corn, rolls, shrimp and my soup. We ate, talked and laughed. Good times.
Once my second brother was through, he tackled the dessert. It was an ice cream cake. I never had one before, but I couldn’t eat it anyway, so it was no loss. I grabbed my regular ice cream and a peanut butter cookie. The combination was nice.
My eldest brother noted it was like was like we were celebrating for him rather than my mom when he found out my dad got the cake with him in mind. I had noted such earlier that day when we got the cake. To me it really felt like it was someone’s freaking birthday rather than Mother’s day. There were presents, cake and a huge dinner. Heh.
Well, after I ate my dessert, I headed to the kitchen to rinse dishes. My second brother came in and helped. Eventually I left because it was sort of like I was kicked out. It was fine. I was still tired.
I lingered for a while. I didn’t really hear the conversation going on around me then. I went back to rinse a few more dishes when my brother finished. Eventually I gave into my body. I grabbed my cat and retreated to my room. I let myself collapse. I didn’t wake up again until one-thirty.
Well… here I am.
I might do some chores after this. Then I’ll go to bed again, I guess. Only thing left to write is that on the 19th that doctor’s appointment will occur. Okay then…

Falling Fillings and Tiredness…

Some point during this week I drew a picture. It took about two days. I think I started it somewhere in between Wednesday to Thursday. I might have finished it on Thursday or Friday. I like it. I think someone could do a heck of a lot better than me, but I like it.
I thought of my endless story. I thought it needed something of an illustration-quality picture. This might could be considered a “faux-cover” idea. Anyway, it also is quite meaningful on a personal level when I think about it. It portrays a time in my story, a memory of mine and my past. I like it.
Now, onto what is certain. Teeth surrounding the injured tooth (the one that happened on the Friday mentioned in my last entry) began to become very sensitive by Monday and lasted up to my dental appointment. My Listerine hurt them. That sucked big time.
Well, I got my tooth refilled on Wednesday. The baby possum was never found though. I hope it is okay.
Well, a numbing agent was place on my tooth. For some reason it has some sort of sweetener to make it “taste better”. Well, for one, no medicine ever tastes good no matter what flavor or sweetener you add to it. I know. Even those Flintstones vitamins for kids sucked. Well, not only did it suck taste-wise, the sweetener was hell on my teeth! I was wincing, trying to bear with it, but I was getting close to waving my arms about in panic.
Well, after it was out, I still hurt like a son-of-a-gun, but soon enough they used the needle. I do well with needles. Thank god for it too… my mouth soon went numb after that. Once all was settled, they went to work.
While letting them tinker with my tooth, I learned my dentist’s favorite color is green and she liked how I looked in a certain shade of blue. That was nice of her. By guess, unless something else goes wrong, I won’t see her again until sometimes in September for my cleaning.
I wound up falling asleep when I got home. Mom did wake me to watch TV. I tend to oblige despite tiredness. So, we watched, I ate food and found the aforementioned teeth were even more sensitive before. I winced here and there during our “bonding” time.
Thursday was a sleep almost all day sort of day. That is a lot of days in one sentence. I did get the minimal chores done and my walk in… but I was too bloody exhausted. This always seemed to happen for a few days once a month. It is just like how I’ll end up being extremely thirsty for a week to the point I drink a twenty-four pack of bottled water in three days when it is supposed to last me all week.
Anyway, it ended very much the same. Mom woke me up to watch TV. My sensitive teeth seemed to be easing down though, so that was good.
Friday, I managed to stay up longer than the day before. I got in the dusting that I usually do on Thursdays. I could have done a better job, but I was still tired. The day was basically the same as always.
Dad woke me up around five. We were going out to eat. We went to Chili’s, met up with my brother and ate. He apparently has lost a filling as well. He hasn’t jumped on his as quickly as me though. It is only now that it is hurting does he care. Oi.
Afterward, we came back home. I rested on my bed for a while since I was STILL tired (Oi) and got up again when my mom wished to watch TV. The night ended as usual. I did have an idea running through my head for a while by then though and started a story. I hit the bed once something of a beginning came to play.
I started to feel less tired this morning. I did my usual routine and all. When I sat down, I edited some of the things I wrote the night before and added onto the story. I admittedly did go back to sleep mid-morning though. I woke up around twelve to get groceries with my dad. We stopped momentarily for him to grab some lunch and me a smoothie.
Dad unloaded the groceries and I put them up. I drank the smoothie and settled for half a peanut butter sandwich. I did some chores and retreated to my room. I worked on the story more, surfed the net and have a vague idea of a drawing I might try to do come who knows when. I might have taken a short nap after that.
My dad woke me up. He was ordering Chinese since I was craving some since Thursday and needed me to tell him what to order. He placed an order for my mom and me. After that I went back to my room and worked on the story more.
Truthfully, this “story” is just a concept. I rather expect nothing out f it and that I’ll likely never finish it. Still, one never knows. It is pretty bland so far and whatnot. Oh, well. I write to get it out. If the thought won’t stop bugging me, writing it usually helps.
I worked on it for a while until the food arrived. I ate alone this time around since my mom had things to do. After that I thanked my dad and resumed to work on the story.
Near eight my mom appears and wants to watch TV. I oblige. After that, I do a few chores while mom gets ready to go to bed. When all is settled, I retreat to my room and work a little more on the story. It is only twelve pages so far. I have a long way to go before it gets to the actual point of the idea though. Heh.
Well, I’ve had my last meal and am now writing this. I guess I should brush my teeth and go to bed soon should I hope to get up by seven to eat breakfast.
Other than that… Tuesday I’ll go on my “haircut expedition” with Mom. Yeah, it was supposed to be on the eighth but it was canceled and moved to a different time. On the nineteenth I’ll still be seeing one of my doctors for a yearly check up. I don’t think anything else comes up this month.

Chicken Soup…

Well, my sister came down Thursday evening. We ate out due to that. We went to a Chinese restaurant all of us like – yet my brother hates. My parents had egg drop and my sister had a corn-based soup. I was in luck that night. They had chicken soup, so I ordered some. It was a bloody good meal as far as I was concerned.
The owner there, as my mom tells me, apparently likes me. She reminds me of the lady who cuts my hair. They both have heavy accents, so it is hard to tell what they are saying. Both are friendly and nice, though.
Well, the owner learned of my ulcer and mentioned she had had one when she was around my age. Similarly to me, hers came along to lack of eating. Unlike me, it was because her work allowed no time to eat and she thought it would help slim her up some. Mine is simply due to drinking water all the time because of my dry throat, which then leads to a full stomach despite not eating. Also, unlike me, she didn’t pay attention to hers, so it bothered her for a year.
She spoke of my sister’s soup of choice being bad for me. It was no loss; I rarely like the same foods as my sister. I had eggs, so I wasn’t interested in my parents’ selection either. The owner noted about chicken soup and crackers helping the stomach, so I was happy to know I could have the soup with no worries – and I do love their chicken noodle soup. From that my family talked about how to make it. Heh.
I tried a dumpling for the first time. My sister ordered some, but settled on the vegetable ones since I care little for meat. They were okay. There was an odd after taste though. My sister disliked them. I cannot say I was interested in eating them on my own choice.
Well after that we came home. It took a while to settle in and then my mom and I watched our usual TV programs. My sister tried watching some, but simply went to sleep.
I don’t remember much about the night after that other than that I had trouble sleeping and thus read a lot. I might have fallen to sleep around two. Well, I woke up at six-fifteen and took my Nexium. I woke up at seven-eighteen and ate breakfast. I kind of wished my dad would help me wake up closer to the dot rather than closer to the mid-hour. Sigh. Oh, well.
For the past week, I’ve been getting on the treadmill everyday rather than every other day. My ankle isn’t acting up, so I am relieved. Actually, this morning I managed to get to 3.5 mph for 1/8 a mile.
In all this, I’m gaining my old weight back. I lost weight after leaving school since I wasn’t zipping down the hallways. I lost muscle mass and thus lost about five to six pounds. Well, now that I am walking two miles every day I seem to be gaining that weight back. Well, at least I know the weight is only muscle, I guess.
The rest of the day was pretty much normal other than my sister being here. She woke up around nine. By then I got most of my chores done. I figured vacuuming wouldn’t be happening though. I never feel comfortable vacuuming when others are in the house for some reason.
She left around lunch time to pick up my dad. They got tacos. I ate some chicken soup the lady from the restaurant gave me the night before. Eventually Dad went back to work, my sister did her own thing and my brother stopped by to eat his own lunch. I meandered back to my room and read the rest of a story I had been working on for a day or so.
By one-thirty my mind needed a rest. At that time my mom came home, picked up my sister and gave her a tour of her work. I took a nap and woke up around four, right around the time they got back.
When five-fifteen hit, everyone was home and we went out for our Friday night dinner. We ate Mexican. It was good. My brother couldn’t join us though.
Well, after that, we came home. Mom wanted me to watch TV with her, so I obliged. My sister couldn’t get into it, so she left the room. Somewhere in the middle of our “session” she needed to go on her way. So, all of us left for the garage. We said goodbye. My sister hugged me. It still makes me uncomfortable.
Her first hug to me was when she left our house to go to college. I might have been in my junior year. That stunned me and I had gone very tense that day. Today, I just remember watching her hug my parents and thinking, “Is she going to hug me? I hope not…”
Nope. She did. It isn’t that I dislike my sister or anything… but it just feels utterly odd. It would be like me hugging my second brother. I like him too… but since the two of them and I never grew up hugging each other, it is bloody strange to me that my sister does that now. I think if my brother started doing such, my brain would shut down for a while.
Well, she left after that and we returned to our usual routine. Sadly for me, something happened. I was flossing my teeth when it was around eight. Like a time before, a part of one of my teeth popped out when the floss escaped. Sigh… So, I foresee a dentist appointment in the near future.
Nine o’clock, I left the room and did some chores. After that I retreated to my room and organized my bookshelves. I finally finished around twelve. Now I am here typing this.

High-Cholesterol…

My blood work came back. I have high-cholesterol. I’ve never had high cholesterol before. My only problem is trying to compute how this equation works. Before this I had a certain diet that I always had since little. I had that diet last year.
When I had my physical done my blood work said my cholesterol was fine. At that time I ate Ramen noodles, corn, small microwavable pizzas and on occasions fries (and sometimes spicy chicken sandwiches) from Wendy’s. Those were my main taboos. I mainly drank soda or canned tea. Later on a lot of water was added to that.
This year it says it is high. This year my diet is oatmeal for breakfast on cold days and cereal on warm days. At lunch I usually have a peanut butter sandwich, or at times a bacon sandwich with mozzarella. Both of those are on whole grain bread. At night I have a cup of whole grain pasta. Sometimes I have baked fries that only have a light coating of Pam to make them not stick to the pan when cooking. My splurge is two scoops of sugar-free vanilla ice cream. I only drink water now. In addition to my new diet I take a vitamin E and fish oil pill.
Before my only exercise were doing house chores. Now I walk two miles a day for forty minutes. Just recently I’m trying to do these walks daily.
I eat little meat and if I do it is lean. I get plenty of fiber from all the grains I eat. I don’t like sugary things much. I eat a handful of grapes each morning for extra fiber. I get calcium from lactose free milk from the cereal and ice cream.
Truthfully, I don’t know what I am doing wrong. In my past I did eat corn at times and had some tomato sauces here and there.
The only thing I lack is the walnuts or almonds and vegetables. At the moment my diet won’t allow vegetables. Even without them, I still don’t see how the hell I have high-cholesterol. Oi.