My Lucid Figments

I figured these two "deserved" a page of dedication. Why? I really have no idea. I suppose it is for the mere case of them being in my life. Perhaps this will make them more real, for I am pretty sure they are made up. Perhaps this will simply make them go away.

Anyway, they played enough a part in my development. Yeah, these two are not quite fictitious. They were/are there when I see them. Despite that, I was always aware that they are not really there. I feel pretty certain the first one never was. I am somewhat certain the other is not. Yeah, call me a nutcase, but you are not the one who has had to deal with such occurances. Shmuck.

He had no nose. Well, from what I was aware of, he did not. Perhaps it was just very flat or was very small. Perhaps it was because I was too distracted by his bulgy eyes. He had big eyes, after all. They looked bloodshot and sleep deprived. It was like he was highly wired and had not slept for years. That would explain the insanity that oozed from him. He never seemed to blink either. He just stared and it sent chills down my back constantly. I heard him mumbling incoherent things in a constant buzz. There were giggles in between. I had a feeling he was waiting for the right time to jump me.

He was pasty. It was like the skin Beetlejuice had in that Tim Burton movie. It did not look dead though... just sickly and almost like it would melt off him in some places... That was likely due to not eating for a while. He looked sickly. He had light rims about his eyes that were almost a light purple. His skin had splotches. They were not all over it, just small speckles that congregated here and there. They were a light gray-purple though. It must have been light deprivation. He likely hid in the shadows for years upon years.

He had hair that reminds me of Beetlejuice as well. The texture, the way the scalp just seemed to fade into becoming his hair and the look of it not being cared for were similar. He obviously did not live. He just waited in the dark and watched.

He had this huge smile as well. It looked painful and anxious. His teeth were pretty big too. They were white... but the edges that met the gums showed he never flossed. There was junk there... sort of like greenish moss - the kind you'd expect on a ship that was sunken into the depths of the ocean. I often wondered if he ever closed his mouth. Like his unblinking eyes, his smile never faltered.

He had gnarled, skeletal hands. The knuckles stood out dramatically. He often had his hands near his mouth... almost in excitement. They were not exactly clenched. They were more like... when you would see a cartoon and a character would be chewing at his fingernails. This guy did not chew them, though sometimes I questioned if he was.

Perhaps it was his more distinguishing features that overrode my ability to notice whether he had a nose or not.

He often lurked in more shadowed areas. He never really moved when I'd be walking by. Then again, I never quite knew where he was. I just knew his presence as well as I knew his face. After a while, I no longer really thought he was going to attack me. After all, he always just waited there and watched. He still unnerved me though. I still heard his laughter and whispers. I think he was talking to imaginary people or to voices in his head. I suppose I am not really one to talk. I am pretty sure I made him up.

I never told my parents about him, though. Most kids would have. You know, a kid would run to the parents to check for the monster under the bed or the like. I never did. I figured if he ever did anything, I'd just scream then. Until that day came though, I would just ignore him.

That day never came though.

When I grew up, I did not see him anymore. He just sort of slinked away. I guess he had enough with watching me. I think I did see him once more, though. It was a year ago really. He was in my mom's bathroom. This time he was not in the shadows. The bathroom was very bright and white. He did not laugh though. He was not watching me. He was just standing in there. I ignored him as usual. I walked by and just carried on. I felt no shiver down my spine. I heard no muttering. I never saw him since.

It is just after writing this, do I wonder. Perhaps it was his ghost. I remember he was quite colorless that time around. Maybe he found peace? Maybe I am just a nutcase? Oh well. He is not longer watching me at least.

I mentioned the Watcher. I guess I should mention the other. I labeled him the Boogieman. Why? I do not know. I just think that when I think of him. He is quite different from the other guy.

I do not really remember when he appeared. He just did one day. He never stays as long as the other. He just pauses a moment and looks in on me for about a minute or two. I know he was there though. He always looks the same, so I recognize him. He stays in the shadows too, but edges out just for so long for me to take notice. I often wonder if he intends for that or not.

I cannot get as good a look at him as the other guy. He dresses head to toe in black after all. I never have seen his face either, but I'm guessing it is pale, sort of like what you would expect a stereotyped vampire's skin to be. He has long, limp hair. It is black just like his clothes. He wears a hat sometimes as well. It is one of the main things that tend to obscure his face, the other of course being the shadows. Every once in a while I am pretty sure I have seen his chin or up to his mouth though, but as said, the shadows do not allow me to get a good idea as to what his skin color is.

He is silent... "Shadow" seems like a more appropriate name for him really, but it does not come to mind when I see him. Like his hair, his body is long and lanky. He sort of stands drooped over. I cannot say hunched, because then that would contradict his languid body.

He also does not have a strong presence like the other guy. I do not notice him before I see him. Like the other guy though, I never look at him directly either. After all, he likely is not really there. I am likely just seeing things. If I am not... well, he has not bothered me. No need to start a fuss or provoke him if he really is dangerous.

I do not think he is though.

Sometimes when I think of him, he actually strikes me as kind of cool. He seems like the brooding type. Tall, dark, brooding... sort of reminds me of The Crow... only not.

I don't see him that often either... at least when you compare his presence to the other guy. Then again, who knows? He might be there even more often than I realize. As said, I do not sense him. I just know when he is there when I see him for a moment.

I do not really know why I see these guys. I just do. It could be a mental problem. Perhaps they are real. Yeah, people would say that is unlikely. Still though... with how used to them I am it does put me at risk. Such people do exist in the world. Sometimes, when I do not pause to look, I wonder, "What if there really is someone there one day and I merely ignore him or her just because I think the person is just another figment from my mind?"

I shrug. I guess if that day ever happens I am screwed.